This month, I am reading up a storm. Ironically, I noticed a theme. A lot of the books I am reading are by women of Asian descent. Today, I am going to discuss two such female writers who wrote “Searching for Sylvie Lee” and “The Night Tiger,” two very different books set on opposite sides of the world.

Searching for Sylvie Lee

You’ve probably heard of this book. It was Jenna Bush Hager’s book club choice for June 2019. It was also the book club pick for The Book Club Girl.

The great thing about Jean Kwok’s book being featured in different book clubs is that it gives the readers a chance to connect and interact with her.

Personally, I love this book. This mystery takes place between New York (Queens) and The Netherlands, two places the author has called home.

Synopsis

Destination: New York City and The Netherlands

From Goodreads:

A poignant and suspenseful drama that untangles the complicated ties binding three women—two sisters and their mother—in one Chinese immigrant family and explores what happens when the eldest daughter disappears, and a series of family secrets emerge, from the New York Times bestselling author of Girl in Translation

It begins with a mystery. Sylvie, the beautiful, brilliant, successful older daughter of the Lee family, flies to the Netherlands for one final visit with her dying grandmother—and then vanishes.

Amy, the sheltered baby of the Lee family, is too young to remember a time when her parents were newly immigrated and too poor to keep Sylvie. Seven years older, Sylvie was raised by a distant relative in a faraway, foreign place, and didn’t rejoin her family in America until age nine. Timid and shy, Amy has always looked up to her sister, the fierce and fearless protector who showered her with unconditional love.

But what happened to Sylvie? Amy and her parents are distraught and desperate for answers. Sylvie has always looked out for them. Now, it’s Amy’s turn to help. Terrified yet determined, Amy retraces her sister’s movements, flying to the last place Sylvie was seen. But instead of simple answers, she discovers something much more valuable: the truth. Sylvie, the golden girl, kept painful secrets . . . secrets that will reveal more about Amy’s complicated family—and herself—than she ever could have imagined.

A deeply moving story of family, secrets, identity, and longing, Searching for Sylvie Lee is both a gripping page-turner and a sensitive portrait of an immigrant family. It is a profound exploration of the many ways culture and language can divide us and the impossibility of ever truly knowing someone—especially those we love. 

Review

So. Ummm. Wow. The ending is intense! I had such a mixture of emotions. I was screaming, going, “WHAT?!” Yet, I was also sad. But I don’t know if I was sad for what happened, or if I was sad because I saw myself as Sylvie Lee.

There are a lot of things that Asian Americans, or frankly any Asian immigrant, go through that is hard to explain to a culture that will never know what it is like to not be white. I think that is one of the most important statements made in this story.

Add to that discrimination, what it is like to be a woman in a man’s world. The struggle to be accepted as an equal and not a piece of meat…I mean, can anybody win if they are not male and white?

Jean Kwok does an excellent job explaining why some Asian Americans work so hard to be perfect. We are trying to be accepted in a culture that will not accept us. From the good grades to the perfect schools to the perfect jobs and husbands…it is all about trying to be accepted and loved in a world that rejects us. In so many ways, Sylvie Lee is me. And maybe that is the part that made me sad. I could see her in me and it made me feel that maybe I, too, want to be free. [Jean Kwok, you are killing me here!]

My site is called Perfectionist Wannabe. I think Sylvie Lee explained to me exactly what I could not explain to myself, maybe even why I settled on this site’s title.

The story is deep. Way too deep.

Mind you, everyone takes different things from stories. For me, it was the profound messages I could relate to. Someone who does not know what it is like to be an Asian woman will not take the same message from this story. Yet, that is kind of the point Jean Kwok is making.

An excellent read. This is a must for everyone.

[Side Note: Couscous. I love that Jean included her cat in the story. I think I’m going to have to write Matthew Lucifer into my book.]

The Night Tiger

I chose this book as my Book of the Month a few months ago. Like Pachinko, I kept thinking…I will get to this eventually. I finally forced myself to pick it up and then I thought, “I should not have waited so long to read this.”

Synopsis

Destination: Malaysia

From Goodreads:

A sweeping historical novel about a dancehall girl and an orphan boy whose fates entangle over an old Chinese superstition about men who turn into tigers.

When 11-year-old Ren’s master dies, he makes one last request of his Chinese houseboy: that Ren find his severed finger, lost years ago in an accident, and reunite it with his body. Ren has 49 days, or else his master’s soul will roam the earth, unable to rest in peace.

Ji Lin always wanted to be a doctor, but as a girl in 1930s Malaysia, apprentice dressmaker is a more suitable occupation. Secretly, though, Ji Lin also moonlights as a dancehall girl to help pay off her beloved mother’s Mahjong debts. One night, Ji Lin’s dance partner leaves her with a gruesome souvenir: a severed finger. Convinced the finger is bad luck, Ji Lin enlists the help of her erstwhile stepbrother to return it to its rightful owner.

As the 49 days tick down, and a prowling tiger wreaks havoc on the town, Ji Lin and Ren’s lives intertwine in ways they could never have imagined. Propulsive and lushly written, The Night Tiger explores colonialism and independence, ancient superstition and modern ambition, sibling rivalry and first love. Braided through with Chinese folklore and a tantalizing mystery, this novel is a page-turner of the highest order.

Review

Loved this story from start to finish.

I learned a lot about the mysticism of Malaya. I love stories like this because you learn a lot about superstitions and the culture of the people. This really appealed to the anthropologist/archaeologist in me.

My favorite character is definitely Ren. Here’s this 10 year old orphan boy who is so smart and more in tune to his intuition and the universe than anyone else in the book. He is the one who has suffered the most loss, but doesn’t let it weigh him down. Here he is saving people’s lives, and has the biggest heart of all of them. He cares about everyone more than they care about themselves.

I wish we were all like Ren.

In “The Night Tiger,” I had just finished the part where she references “The Ghost Bride.” I was not even aware of the author’s other titles until someone posted a picture of her book “The Ghost Bride.” Absolutely love when there’s a hint to a previous title. That book is queued up to be my next read.

The story is very enjoyable. I definitely recommend it.

Final Thoughts

This month was definitely a great month for literature by women of Asian descent. After I read these two books, I ended up reading a graphic novel series written by two Asian women. Then I took a look at my recent purchases over the last few months. The majority of the books I purchased are written by Asian women. I kept thinking it is about time there were more female Asian writers on the market.

When I was first discovering my Asian roots (something my mother never discussed), I was in college. In the mid-90’s, I only had Amy Tan. “The Joy Luck Club” was the first Asian American film I ever saw. It became my window into a world that made me feel like I was not alone. I absorbed every single Amy Tan book I could get my hands on.

Since then, books written by Asian women became sparse. The only other author I knew of was Adeline Yen Mah. Now, we see more and more Asian women writing incredible stories.

I think over the last few years, I am drawn more towards choosing books by Asian women. I don’t do this purposely. The titles and the stories are what draw me in. When I check my shelves later, I see a theme. I am drawn to Asian women telling their stories; and they are incredible stories.

The stories that really stay with me are the ones written by Asian women. From Kim Thuy who wrote “Ru” and “Man” to Lisa See and Min Jin Lee, the stories are incredible. Maybe it’s that Sylvie Lee in all of us that inspires them to work hard to be perfect in what they are creating that explains why I have not read a bad book from an Asian woman. Everything has been 5 stars across the board.

Maybe that Sylvie Lee in us all is the reason why women of Asian descent write better books. And that is probably the reason why I freak out all of the time as I write my book…that need to be perfect in order to be loved and accepted by a culture that will never understand what it is like to be us.

Part of me does not know if that desire is a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe it is a bad thing, but at the same time, these women are making something extraordinary. It is not mediocre. It is exceptional. If we did not strive for that level of perfectionism, we would be like everybody else.

In an odd way, maybe we are just trying to prove we are better than that culture that does not accept us. These women are definitely proving that we are.

[Side Note: Shout out to all the book lovers who have fur babies. There seems to be a direct correlation between book lovers and animal lovers.]

Since I announced I will no longer be sending book sales to Amazon, [Amazon is Selling Counterfeit Books] I reached out to other retailers to see if we could form a partnership. Barnes & Noble is one of my new partners.

Each week, I will be showcasing each new partnership. After all of the new partnerships are introduced, I will be pooling all of the Book Deals I can find from each of the different retailers to share with you each week.

I am also working on a master list of online booksellers for people to use. This will include those retailers that ship internationally (for those of you who are outside of the US).

This week, I am highlighting Barnes & Noble and their sales for July.

Black Friday in July

July 12-16:

Black Friday in July! Get 20% Off Your Order with code JULYREADS

20% Off the NOOK GlowLight 3 eReader! Limited Time Only

40% Off 100 Books of Summer For Adults, Kids, and Teens!

June 18-August 24

50% Off Beach Reads

July 2-August 5

Viz Manga: Buy 2, Get the 3rd Free

But here is the deal I like going on this weekend: Select Books are only $2 with purchase of $35 or more. Here are a few of the offerings (price does not always reflect complete discount):

So for those still on the fence with whether to buy at Amazon versus another retailer, I highly recommend taking advantage of the sales you will find on other sites.  Those sales with other booksellers are sometimes better than Amazon.  Every now and again, you can even get free books.  Amazon usually only does free ebooks.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a buy 2 get, the third book free at Amazon.  Have you?

I recommend doing what I do. Create a list of books you want to purchase. When I peruse sales, I look to see if that book has made their clearance or sale section. When the sale is too good to be true, that’s when I know it’s time to buy it.

I mean, you do want to save money, right?

I usually find the month following the Book Expo to be the time when I read more books than I normally would read. June was no exception.

I decided to do something a little different. You can thank a 10 year old girl for this. I usually pick up some books for my friend’s twin daughters every summer before they go away to their dad’s house. One daughter devours books. The other one is a comic book reader.

While her mother prefers that she read books, her daughter responded that she was not ready to give up picture books yet. This made me think…if comics and graphic novels are what it takes to get her to read, far be it for me to judge her. I should be encouraging her to read by any means she enjoys.

Which means that I am now reviewing comics and graphic novels. To my surprise, my male readers actually cheered when they heard this.

So far, I’ve picked up some great graphic novels and comics and I can’t wait to share this with you.

Adult Fiction

[usr 4] Next Year in Havana was a Read It Forward Facebook Book Club Pick.

This was a really good book. I enjoyed the story, but after page 280, the political stuff got to be too much. It’s a great book to understand the history of Cuba, what led up to the revolution, and the revolution that brought Fidel Castro to power. It also shares what life has been like since Fidel Castro came to power. 

We follow the story of Marisol (present day) and her grandmother Elisa (late 1950s). Elisa has passed away and Marisol has returned to Cuba to spread her grandmother’s ashes. As a reporter, she is looking to write a piece on tourism, while trying to find the right spot to release Elisa’s ashes. What she was not in store for was a box of letters her grandmother wanted her to have. 

The letters tell a much bigger story, as well as Elisa’s biggest secret. Marisol realizes she must find the answers in order to determine where the best place would be to lay her grandmother to rest. While she searches for answers, the regime follows her around. She could be seen as a spy if she doesn’t watch her step, because the questions she is asking will lead to trouble.

GOOD NEWS: As of this post’s publication date, you can get the eBook from Barnes & Noble for $1.99.

[usr 5] Daisies and Devotion. If you love Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte, you will enjoy the latest novel from Josi S. Kilpack. “Daisies and Devotion” is the second book in the Mayfield Family Series.

It may be a little slow getting into, but once that dance happens, you will have a hard time putting the book down. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I really enjoy Josi S. Kilpack’s books. They are G-rated. Believe me when I say that sometimes the best love stories are the ones without all the sex and heavy petting. When it comes to real love, you have to talk about matters of the heart, not the lust. Josi’s focus is telling the stories that go on from the heart.

We read about the fear that goes on inside of their minds and the self-doubt. There are the lies we tell ourselves that we are not good enough, pretty enough, or desirable. There are even the stories we tell ourselves that someone doesn’t like us, we are not their type. Or that we may have misunderstood what was happening, so we break our own hearts and move forward in life…and when they try to tell us we were right, we refuse to believe them.

Kilpack does an excellent job of delving into the issues of love and learning how to love. She examines it, dissects it, learns from it and issues out the truths, no matter how difficult it is to accept. Seriously, where were these books 20 years ago? I could have used them then!

For the full review, click HERE.

[Content Warning: Book contains situations involving death, miscarriage.]

[usr 5] Pachinko. Wow. Absolutely incredible.

This book begins in Korea, before there was a north or a south, and then ends in Japan. We begin in 1910 and end in 1989, following the lineage of one family as they move from poverty to riches. 

There are two quotes that sum up Pachinko: 

“A woman’s lot is to suffer.”

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

As we follow Sunja’s life, a miracle that she was to be born, we see how the evil of the world tries to take advantage of such an innocent creature and shape her to make decisions that would lead her from Korea to Japan. She suffers greatly over and over again, but isn’t that life? Her children are her saving grace, but even the sins of her past can destroy her happiness.

This book is beautifully written, detailed and well done. Each character is developed so well that we watch them grow from infancy to old age. 

It is shocking to me the prejudices that Koreans had to endure. It is rather sad that they are looked down upon by the Japanese, even if they were born there, as well as their fathers. They are still not granted citizenship and can be deported at any time. It was really heartbreaking to read this and how evil Japanese people are to the Koreans. It really makes you look at what happens in America and see that it happens everywhere. There is always one race that thinks they are better than another.

There are content warnings for this book. The following elements are present that may present triggers for those sensitive to these subject matters: abuse, death/dying, strong language, miscarriage, abortion, sexual situations, self-harm, violence and suicide. 

Overall, this book is a must read.

[usr 5] Salvage the Bones. Jesmyn Ward is an incredible writer, probably one of the best living American writers today. “Salvage the Bones” is just another example of her extraordinary talent.

This book really helps you understand the conditions of living in the Bayou of New Orleans. Here, we enter into one household just days before Hurricane Katrina hits. One thing I cannot stop thinking about is the phone call everyone receives from the State right before any major hurricane. Evacuate or you risk your own life. No one is coming to save you.

But how do people living in extreme poverty evacuate? Where do they go? How do they get to a safe place? For the State to give out that warning, it’s a bit classist if you truly think about it. That warning is for people who can afford to leave. For everyone else, they have to wait out the storm.

For those who remember, when the levees broke, it flooded much of the impoverished areas. It literally wiped out many neighborhoods. 

One of the things Ward discusses that I remember hearing about when Tarboro, North Carolina (another black impoverished town) was flooded in 1999, were the dead bodies from the cemetery floating by. Her depiction and detail is the same as it was there. The similarities between the flooding of both areas are haunting. There was no warning for either place.

I can’t stress how well written this book is. Jesmyn reminds me so much of a Mark Twain or a Charles Dickens with the way she describes the life of humans along with their use of language. She is an incredible writer. You walk away from her books feeling so much more complete because you now understand something far greater than you ever did before.

[usr 4] The Strange Case of Finley Jayne. For those looking for a quick read, this little novella is only 84 pages. It is the prequel to The Steampunk Chronicles.

What I loved about this book is that Finley Jayne is a bit of a kickass, no nonsense woman. She is a great daughter and friend. She protects the innocent and is smart enough to trust her instincts when things seem awry. She investigates questionable people even before she’s asked to do it. She is the one saving the day, even before she knows it. 

Some superheroes are heroes because it is the right thing to do. Finley Jayne is a hero because it is who she is. She is not trying to be a hero. She just is. 

Great story. Looking forward to reading the rest of the series.

GOOD NEWS: This title is only $0.99 at Barnes & Noble.

[usr 5] The Starless Sea. I wish I could give this book a gazillion stars. It is literally a masterpiece. It has been eight years since Erin Morgenstern released her debut The Night Circus. I was talking to someone from Doubleday Books when a couple of women walked up asking for a copy. I had apparently picked up the last one. The look on their faces as they looked at my book. I could feel something crazy in the air, so I turned to the publicist and said, “I think I am going to hide this away before a mob scene breaks out.” She responded, “I think that would be wise.”

In other words, this book was THE MOST COVETED BOOK at the Book Expo.

This book is not set to be released until November 5, 2019, so make sure you pre-order it now. Before you do that though, I recommend that you read my review first. This book is only for certain types of individuals. It was not created for everyone. I only tell you to read the review first, because I don’t want anyone leaving bad reviews for something they did not understand completely. You can read the entire review (no spoilers) HERE.

[usr 2] Moonlight Travellers. I have been trying to remember where I picked this book up from. I guess it was when I was wandering around W.W. Norton, looking at their shelves. I probably thought…oh, this will be a light and easy read. Well, I was correct about that.

I did not rate this highly, because I had a problem with Will Self’s narrative. I don’t think the narrative matched the artwork appropriately. It read like this was a letter to someone…a specific someone. It was too personal and not something that should have been shared with everyone else. Those words belonged to one person…the intended.

While those words were beautiful, I felt like I had read something that did not belong to me. The artwork is interesting and entertaining as you go through each one, you’ll notice that the artwork alone is telling its own story.

[usr 2] Raw Thoughts. Well, I actually gave this poetry book a higher rating on Goodreads. 3 stars. But I am going to change that.

I created the posting for this, because the system had not been updated. I went to double check my rating and saw it was 3 stars, but strangely enough, it says 4 stars at the top. I think…who in the world rated it higher than 3 stars?

The author did. He gave it 5 stars. Ummm…note to all authors out there…don’t do that. I understand you want your book to sell, but don’t do that. I am not even going to link this book for people to buy it.

I am going to explain why I originally gave this book 3 stars…I wanted to be fair. I did not like it, because the first 3/4 of the book is depressing and suicidal. The photos are mediocre. The best of the bunch is definitely the cover photo. There were two poems that I did like at the end.

I know that John Casey’s aim was to help people who are in complete sorrow/depression relate to the poems. The ending was supposed to be a light out of that pit, but I don’t think there was enough light to do that. The 3 stars was for the effort in trying to do something good, but failing to do so.

I mean, he made me depressed reading this book.

Graphic Novels

[usr 5] Victor LaValle’s Destroyer. Absolutely loved this. What a great way to introduce the youth to Frankenstein.

It’s the old Frankenstein meets new Frankenstein. The new Frankenstein is created by an angry black mother. Akai was shot down by the police on his way home from his little league game. Someone called in a report that an 18-20 year old black male was walking around with a rifle. He was 12 years old, wearing a baseball uniform, carrying a baseball bat. 

Out of her anger at being seen as monsters because of their skin color, Dr. Baker decides to bring her son back to life using nanobots along with Victor Frankenstein’s notes. All the while, Frankenstein himself, the original creature, is hunting her down and destroying all humans in his path.

LaValle decided to bring Frankenstein and a major societal issue in America together to create “Destroyer.”

[usr 5] Teen Titans: Raven.
I really enjoyed reading Raven’s back story. Unlike the TV show/movie, this graphic novel is not funny. It’s rather serious and sad as we begin to see who Raven really is and where she came from.

After being involved in a car accident that kills her adoptive mother, Raven is sent to New Orleans to live with her adoptive mother’s sister and niece. The only issue is that Raven has amnesia. She has no idea who she is or what her past is. 

With the help of her aunt and cousin, their voodoo protects her as she starts to remember who she is.

What I love about this the most is that a woman wrote this. We need more women’s voices in comics.

[usr 4] The Magicians: Alice’s Story. I am a big fan of the television series on SyFy. This graphic novel is sort of the condensed version of Alice’s story. The characters do not look like the TV characters. While the show has diverse people playing the roles, the comic does not. It is whitewashed. 

Beyond that aspect, I decided to give this title 4 stars because it helped me understand Alice a little better and what ended up happening to her. It is sad to a point, but in a way, freeing to understand what happened to her, as well as the relationship she had with Quentin. 

I always believed that Quentin thought he loved Alice. Never thought for once that he actually did. I still think that, even after reading this graphic novel. Perhaps talking about love between Magicians is not realistic, because of the cold harshness of the subject matter of magic. It’s kind of something they want, but never really do attain. 

This graphic novel is for mature audiences only.

[Content Warning. These elements are present: death, strong language, sexual situations, nudity and violence.]

Children & YA

[usr 4] A Place to Land. This was an interesting tale of why King decided to do the “I Have a Dream” speech that day on the Mall. Apparently, it wasn’t the speech he prepared for that day.

The advance copy I received did not have the speech in it. I am unsure if the finished copy will have the speech in it.

Either way, I definitely learned something from this children’s book.

The artwork is well done. It’s a short read, but a very interesting take on that day. It gives this little piece of history a more in depth look behind that day.

[usr 4] Doc and the Detective in Graveyard Treasure. What a great mystery for kids. I think what I liked most about this is that you learn a little bit about the Choctaw Nation and the Trail of Tears. While you are getting a little bit of a history lesson about this Native American group, you’re also learning about caring for those with Alzheimer’s and learning to respect seniors, all the while, drawn into a mystery.

When seniors start complaining that their things are going missing, people assume they are just forgetful or they don’t know what they’re talking about. They are not taken seriously, until one day, Timmy and his neighbor, Dr. Moore, see a flower pot for sale that looks exactly like the one his daughter gave to him that went missing. When they see who is selling it, they realize a much bigger situation is going on. 

With the help of the local police, Timmy with his family and his friends, help uncover a ring of thieves that are taking advantage of the elderly. But the lessons here go far beyond just the adventure.

A great read for children 8-12 years of age.

[Disclosure: I received a free copy of A Place to Land, Victor LaValle’s Destroyer, Teen Titans: Raven, Daisies and Devotion, The Magicians: Alice’s Story, Pachinko, Doc and the Detective, The Starless Sea, Moonlight Travellers, and Raw Thoughts from publishers in exchange for an honest review. This post contains affiliate links.]

I am a bit late getting this book review of “Daisies and Devotion” up. I do have a reason why. Last month, I won the most coveted award at my office, along with my team, for most outstanding work. While that’s all great, what goes with being “most outstanding” is triple the workload the very next day. What adds to this was the type of work I was doing was not fun or pleasant because I had to read about child sexual abuse. 300 cases. So being able to completely focus on a book review was just out of the question.

Since I haven’t had to read a case in the last two weeks, I can refocus on reviewing books. So let’s get to this story.

[Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of an unbiased review. This post contains affiliate links.]

Synopsis

Content Warning: D, M.

If you love Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte, you will enjoy the latest novel from Josi S. Kilpack. “Daisies and Devotion” is the second book in the Mayfield Family Series. The first book in the series is “Promises and Primroses.”

You can read “Daisies and Devotion” without having read the first book, but all I can say is…WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???? You would be missing out on such an incredible *sigh* worthy book!

Another reason why you should read the first book is that it goes more into detail with the marriage challenge being presented to the Mayfield siblings. It was first presented in the first book and it ended up working out very well, because Peter Mayfield found love. In book two, Timothy Mayfield’s response to his brother finding love before marriage is that it is simply unheard of. Imagine how modern the concept of love before marriage is!

Some elements of Book One are brought into the second book, but the book is written where even if you do not read the first book, you will be ok.

In “Daisies and Devotion,” Maryann Morrington has entered the London season looking for a husband. Her entrance into the season was delayed a few years because she was helping her mother while she was ill. Before her mother passed away, her sister married and later miscarried a child. Deborah moves to London with her husband, Lucas, and sponsors Maryann (now 22) while she is in London.

After her mother’s passing, Maryann comes into her very lucrative inheritance. With that information becoming public knowledge in London, the majority of men that knock on her door are only interested in her because of her money.

Deborah and Lucas decide to introduce Maryann to Lucas’s childhood friend, Timothy Mayfield. He is up front about his reasons for courting her – he needs a woman with a fortune. Oddly enough, Maryann appreciates his brutal honesty and begins to fall for him.

When Timothy’s uncle puts forth the marriage challenge proposal, guaranteeing a well off livelihood, he no longer needs to look for a wife with a fortune. He now has the freedom to marry any woman he chooses.

When he informs Maryann he is no longer obligated to find a wife with money, he tells her of his list for a perfect woman and it is everything she is not. She tells him this list is foolish, there is no such thing as a perfect woman. But Timothy insists on finding this kind of woman.

Brokenhearted, she parts ways with him after they have harsh words with each other. He does not even understand what he did, but feels remorseful he hurt her feelings, so he sends her daisies he picked himself, her favorite flowers.

The two finally come to an accord, agreeing to be just friends. Then they agree to help each other find the right match. Timothy introduces her to Colonel Berkins and she introduces him to Miss Shaw (the woman who is literally Timothy’s list).

The only issue is that Colonel Berkins is courting Maryann under false pretenses. When Maryann discovers the reasons behind his courtship, she decides to leave London and go back home. She is done with the season and the idea of looking for a husband.

This announcement shocks Timothy. Yet, it takes one dance to make the situation as clear as day for him.

Review

Like all of the titles from Shadow Mountain’s Proper Romance, this was another sigh worthy book. It may be a little slow getting into, but once that dance happens, you will have a hard time putting the book down. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I swear, this book was like looking into my own past and seeing the similarities, dissecting each issue to better understand it. Luckily for Maryann, when she ran, deciding to give up on love and move on with life, love followed her. It wasn’t ready to give up on her. Love was willing to fight for her…and that is what makes you sigh.

Part of me wishes that we still had London type seasons where if you are looking for a spouse, you attend all of these gatherings hosted by the same group of people who help people find matches. Everyone attends the same dinners, dances, events, etc. There are certain rules involved in getting to know people, as well as a certain decorum in how men and women should act towards each other.

I really enjoy Josi S. Kilpack’s books. They are G-rated. Believe me when I say that sometimes the best love stories are the ones without all the sex and heavy petting. When it comes to real love, you have to talk about matters of the heart, not the lust. Josi’s focus is telling the stories that go on from the heart.

We read about the fear that goes on inside of their minds and the self-doubt. There are the lies we tell ourselves that we are not good enough, pretty enough, or desirable. There are even the stories we tell ourselves that someone doesn’t like us, we are not their type. Or that we may have misunderstood what was happening, so we break our own hearts and move forward in life…and when they try to tell us we were right, we refuse to believe them.

Kilpack does an excellent job of delving into the issues of love and learning how to love. She examines it, dissects it, learns from it and issues out the truths, no matter how difficult it is to accept. Seriously, where were these books 20 years ago? I could have used them then!

Rating: A-

It is rare I come across a novel that astounds me.  That moment is so rare, I can probably count how many times that has happened to me on one hand. 

Enter “Waiting for Fitz.”  What makes this book so unique is that this story allowed me to see into the mind of teenagers with mental illnesses, and it was eye opening.  Yet, it was not just the story that astounded me.  It was the words and the way the author chose to share the lessons he’s learned about life. 

There were a lot of elements involved in my decision to curate this book into my personal library.  I like to look at my personal curated library as a place that if the end of the world came, and someone came across my library, they would learn so much about the world and humanity through that collection.  It’s not just about the story or whether it was well written that qualifies a book to be curated into my personal collection.  It is all about what I learned from the book and whether the philosophical lessons helped mold me into the human being I am today. 

That is what makes my curated library what it is.  It is a statement of who I am as a human being.  These are the books that helped mold my way of thinking or made me understand things in a new light.  These are the stories that become a part of me. 

So what is it about “Waiting for Fitz” that molded me? 

The Story

Addie is OCD…like really bad OCD.  She redefines what it means to be OCD.

Each morning before school, I’d walk to the bathroom, careful not to brush the wrong carpet thread when I reached the threshold.  I’d stand up and sit down three times before entering the bathroom.  I’d sniff two times with each step while also counting the tiles beneath each foot.  I’d make sure I blinked with my left eye before entering the shower.  Counting each time I tapped on the shower wall, each tap on the faucet, and each throat-clearing, I’d net two hundred and seven.  I’d do this seven times before exiting the shower.  Then I’d wash my hands forty-three times.  Those two numbers added together made two hundred and fifty, and the two and the five made seven, of course – my favorite number.  Finally, I’d dry off, sit on the bed, and count to eleven.  What a great number, eleven: it’s first place two times, or seven and four, which is nice.

These little ticks and rituals are one thing, but the moment when she really needs help is when she believes that if she did not do all of these things, those she loved (her mother or her dog) would die.

So her mother does what is best for her and admits her into a hospital to work with a doctor that can help her.  It is here that she meets other teenagers with mental problems, including Fitz. 

Fitz is schizophrenic.  He hears voices in his head and constantly talks to them.  He’s smart and witty, just like Addie.  The medication he’s on helps him to be more aware that the voices are there, but he is the one in control, not the voices.

Fitz and Addie develop an attraction to each other, mainly because of their love for words and witty banter as they constantly put a spin on words and phrases.

Yet, Addie can’t figure Fitz out.  He goes into moments of anger that are unexplained.  He walks away and refuses to talk to her for days.  She never knows what triggers his anger, but he always comes back and asks for forgiveness. 

Then one day, he slips a note under her door asking her to escape the facility with him.  This is not his first attempt.  The only thing she can get out of the other patients is that this has something to do with Quentin…and she is not sure if Quentin is a real person or a voice in his head.  All she knows is that Fitz is seeking forgiveness…atonement.

She decides to help and escapes with him, because one of the things she’s learning is that maybe if she focused on others by helping them, it will help her take the focus off of herself.  It will help her get to a normal stage where she’s focusing on others, rather than her own ticks and obsessions. 

With the help of the rest of the group, they are able to escape and go to San Juan Island, Washington.  She follows Fitz and lets him unravel his story piece by piece, never pressuring him to explain why they had to go to San Juan Island.  What Fitz reveals to her is heartbreaking, explaining who Quentin is and why his mother never visits him at the hospital.

As they make their return to the mainland, Fitz, being without his medication, begins to unravel and he loses control over the voices.  They take over and Addie is forced to seek help, because she is now in danger.

The Quotes

These quotes are the reason why I decided to curate this book into my library.

“A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do…I guess it’s time to start living the words instead of just reading them.”

“Behind her, a few candles burned low in their cups of wax, and I wondered what my life would be like: would I get blown out, or flicker and come back stronger?  We all flicker; it just depends on how willing we are to emerge again, and with how much light.”

“Like, something that is dead and gone can still light up our world.  What was can still be an is if we put ourselves in the right place.”  [This made me think of the story of Gilgamesh and Enkidu.  Gilgamesh spent his entire life seeking a way to be ok again after Enkidu died.]

“I guess we all have an interior monologue, but for it to be so insistent and loud and populated would be impossible to ignore.  Maybe his life was a series of interruptions, and he lived in the space between.  He lived in the spurts and spats between the longer moments of conversing with the imaginary group that followed him everywhere.”

“Everyone wears a mask, but actors get to change theirs constantly.  I kind of envied the way they played different parts and got to live different lives.  They could empathize with so many types of people, of personhood.  If actors were the opposite of people, what did that make me?  A series of masks, maybe.”

“We dive as deep as we can and hope somebody is listening to our call across the deep waters.  All of us, at some point.”

“Because she’s amazing.  Because she knows how to love.  Because her heart has enough room for everybody and everything.”

“I thought of Aeolus opening up his bag of winds and how winds can take you everywhere you need to go, just like language can do great things, poetic things, but ultimately you can’t tell someone how much you love them because even that won’t adequately express how you feel.  All the winds except the one you want or need, I guess.”

“Truth is overlooked, ignored, searched for but never found, and only when we think the character can’t possibly make it out of the innermost cave alive, we witness a resurrection.”

“Hope is meant to surprise us.  Existence is meant to surprise.  Love is meant to surprise.  Love does not bow to the odds.  Never has.  Never will.”

On the meaning of Waiting for Godot:  “Because they had everything to wait for.  They had everything to show for it, as soon as that thing showed up…But life is just a series of absurd rituals until something or someone comes along to give it all meaning, right?  They were waiting for that thing.  For that person…Sometimes it doesn’t show up.  We’re lucky if it does.  But if it does, then we have something to live for.  We don’t always need to wait, but when we do…Well, it’s worth waiting your entire life for that one thing, that person, to come along.  It’s what gives life meaning.”

“I don’t think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect.  If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.”  –  Tom Stoppard

Review

The quotes above are the reason why this book will stay with me for the rest of my life.  It was like taking various moments in my life, sprinkling a little gold dust over it, making the wounds heal a little faster.

As a writer, the quote from Tom Stoppard really made me think about the words I am writing in my own novel.  That is the ultimate goal of the writer, to nudge the world a little, just as Spencer Hyde has done in “Waiting for Fitz.” 

The words he chose to deeply contemplate the world around us were completely breathtaking and drove to the point.  This book is more than just a story.  It is a philosophical wonder that leaves the reader walking away with a deeper understanding to many of the obstacles we face in life, an angle we may not have considered.

As for the story itself, I don’t think I’ll ever use the term “OCD” lightly anymore.  I never really understood what mental illness looked like.  It is so difficult to step into the shoes of others who struggle every day to find normalcy.  What Hyde has done here is open up that gateway of understanding, so we can feel their struggle, fears, and desire to be okay again as they try to stop hurting those they love because their brain is not okay. 

More importantly, this book helps the reader to understand that people suffering from mental illness are not at fault for what they are going through.  There is that fear people who commit suicide do it because of a mental illness. Many are left asking why, not truly understanding the struggle.  Sure, we should have compassion, but I always wondered why.  I don’t have to ask that anymore. 

In terms of modern day works that I expect to become classical pieces of literature in the future, “Waiting for Fitz” is a novel that I believe deserves to be ranked amongst the greats.  It is unlike any other book I’ve ever read.  It belongs alongside the shelves of Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Frankenstein and Lord of the Flies, because it makes you explore the depths of the unknown and come out a better human being because of it.  That is what “Waiting for Fitz” does.  It should be on everyone’s list of Books to Read in this Lifetime.  Except, don’t just put it on a list.  Buy it.  Absorb the words and then curate it into your own library. 

[Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in return for an unbiased review.  This post contains affiliate links.]