Ladies, I’ve been doing some extra research today that I thought I’d share with you.  As we move this site into a more fashionista friendly zone with an eye on building your fantasy wardrobe, I also want to start wrapping your minds around becoming a fashionista with a sizeable bank account and a sizeable net worth.

You know that you love fashion.  It could probably break your bank account if you could actually buy everything you saw the Kardashians wearing or what is in the latest Vogue.  Trust me, I fell in love with Victoria Beckham’s line today…and then saw that she normally charges about $13,000 for some of her stuff.  Talk about a woman really tapping into her name and her love for fashion to generate major dollars in her own bank account.

Why can’t we do that, too? 

Let’s get started one step at a time.  Remember that first lesson from the “Top 10 Ways To Build Your Fantasy Wardrobe?” It all lies in your financial outlook.  Don’t go into debt for fashion was the number one lesson there.  I really do mean…don’t go into debt for fashion whatsoever.

1.  Want to be rich?  It all starts with doing your research.  One of the greatest lessons about money I’ve ever learned came from David Bach.  If you want to make your money grow, you always have to stay on top of the financial world.  That doesn’t mean you have to be the next Wall Street trader to understand money.  You just always have to do your research on how you can be better with your money.  That means reading books on personal finance like those from David Bach and Suze Orman.  They want to help you balance your accounts and have sizeable nest eggs so much that they actually give away this information for free.

Whether it’s reading their column, following them on Twitter, or just going to their websites…they usually offer their latest book for free to download.  Not too many financial gurus do that.  So the whole backlash these financial writers get from people…”yeah…I made you rich by buying your book”…they’re now proving a different mantra (which Russell Simmons aka Uncle Rush talks about on his Twitter all of the time).  When you help others make money, wanting nothing in return for this deed, the universe will grow your money in a different way.

It’s called karma…and they’ve tapped into that karma of putting forth good so that their own good fortunes (even if it is not monetary) will also increase.  Good fortunes could mean good health, good familial relations, good fortune in their ventures, amazing opportunities…i.e. living the dream.

 They made their mistakes, just like the rest of us do, but they learned from them, did their research and passed their knowledge along to others so that they too can grow.  It pays to do your research. 

What one person’s way to help you achieve financial freedom, may work for you…or maybe another person’s way will help you.  Read up on a few of the methods out there and decide which one works best for you and your goals.

For me, I do the 50/30/20 method developed by Elizabeth Warren and her daughter, Amelia Warren Tyagi in their book, All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan.  Their way to manage money made sense to me…50% for expenses, 30% on whatever I want and 20% to savings.  This method actually helps me gauge my overall financial situation.  Rent, loans, and all of my bills fall way under the 50%.  I was lucky that it did, but not all of them did at the start.

At first, internet and cell phone payments went under my 30% column because it was not a necessity to have those things.  But as I re-did my loans, utility bills, etc., eventually the internet and cell phone bills could go in the 50% expenses column, along with the monthly donations I make to charities.  The bills I paid monthly actually went down over time.  As each continues to go down and bills get paid off, I can apply more of the leftover money in the 50% expenses column to another bill.

Saving money (the 20%) is actually a beneficial tool for people that seek to be rich.  Every multi-billionaire talks about how when they first started off, they made that 20% savings MANDATORY.  Those who want to be SUPER RICH, do 30%. 

For me, I dabble in the 20%+.  I don’t count my Roth IRA or my Traditional IRA or 401(k) to that 20%.  20% is just the money I put into my savings accounts or money market fund.  Investing wisely in stocks…I got a 340% return during one of the worst recessions in America’s history.  That, of course, paid for my luxurious Moroccan vacation…a dream I’ve had for most of my life.  The rest of the return…went back into stocks.

For the shopper in me, that 30% has been a godsend.  I like knowing that I have money that is completely GUILT FREE to spend on whatever I want to spend.  Vacations usually come out of this budget, as well as a lot of the clothes, books, and home stuff I buy.  It also pays for the grocery bills and going out with friends.  I can spend this money however I choose.

It’s knowing I have that guilt free money that makes the 50/30/20 principle work for me.  All of my bills are paid.  I have money put away for savings…and I have money that I can live with and have fun with.

The reason why this method is perfect for most people?  It forces you to move your life within your financial means so that you can enjoy life, not stress about the bills, and save for tomorrow.  If you fall outside of the 50% category (some people had 80% going to their mortgage and bills…scrimping away and unhappy with the 20% they had left), you need to get your expenses and bills down to 50% of your take home income.  If you’re more than 50%, you’re living outside of your means.  You want to be below that 50%. 

I will admit that when I travel and the cell bill goes up to $400…I don’t like those months that I have to dip into my 30% to pay for it. It’s not fun at all. 

You’ll find that as you research how to manage your money, there are methods that will work for you and others that won’t.  Warren’s methods were perfect for me.  I’ve been using it for some time now.  But I also always read David Bach and Suze Orman.  The economic market is always changing.  They’re learning new things from the tricks of the trade.  It’s always wise to stay abreast on how that’s changing.

It may be boring to you, but just as much as I don’t like dipping into my play money to pay a cell phone bill, it sure won’t make you happy when you realize that all of your play money and savings have to go to paying bills all of the time.  You have to know how to manage your BASIC personal finances before you can completely create your fantasy wardrobe.

2. After You Get The Basics Down…start putting your next plan into action.  Start creating goals.  Keep a little notebook on what your goals are.  It could be anything from owning a pair of Manolo Blahniks to a vacation in Italy to making your first million…whatever the goal…write it down and make it happen.

I’ve always found that writing down your goal actually helps you achieve those goals.  But one thing I’d like to add…as your life changes, so to do your goals change.  During my rock and roll years, I had a lot of dreams I wrote down from recording certain songs, to owning a record label…the list goes on.  But in 2004, all of that changed and I went down a different path and became a writer.

Those goals are goals that don’t make sense in keeping anymore because I’m not passionate about that world anymore.  The more passion you have in doing something…the more it is meant to be yours…but keep in mind…it takes a lot of hard work to achieve goals.  They don’t just float to you on a silver platter.

Like all dreams, you also have to have patience.  Things just don’t happen magically overnight. 

The first time I ever fell in love with Valentino was in 2008.  I dreamed of owning a Valentino.  I mean…I was really in love with Valentino.  It took some time before I would own my first Valentino (a pair of sunglasses).  Now, I actually have various pieces from Valentino.  It took a lot of waiting, but it’s that desire to have it…it was finally made possible without going broke.  It just took a lot of patience and waiting for the pieces to come into my collection.

These days, my dreams of owning this and that for my wardrobe are starting to come to a close.  My goals are starting to come in the form of business ventures and making money.  I get inspiration from people like Kathy Ireland and Martha Stewart…women who took their passions in life and made their names into household names…turned into multi-million dollar franchises.  Kathy Ireland’s products alone have sold over $2 billion, while Martha Stewart has sold $900 million worth.  Who knew, right?  

It’s about passion for doing what you love and sharing it with the world.  That’s how you make profitable enterprises.  It’s all about enjoying what you’re doing.  Life is too short to be stuck in a miserable job.  Work where you are happy.  Do what makes you happy.  If you get paid to live your dream…then you are blessed…but remember, it takes a lot of hard work to make dreams into a reality.

3.  Be frugal.  Most of the wealthiest people on the planet got that way because they are super frugal.  I mean…SUPER FRUGAL.  It may seem like punishment for the fashionista to go the frugal route, so I’ll share what I’ve been doing over the years.

a) Drink the office coffee.  Latte factor NO MORE.  I used to put Starbucks in my budget.  Now, Bauble Bar has the Starbucks budget.  My latte habit was a good $12 a day.  Then I decided that Starbucks was getting too expensive and was too much of a luxury, so I switched to the free coffee at the office…and rarely go to Starbucks unless I’m traveling.  Why pay for something you can get for free? [That’s my #1 rule in life.]

b) You can afford to go the cheap route on the basics.  Most of my t-shirts, pants, tanks and underwear come from the clearance bin at the Gap or Banana Republic.  They last FOREVER.  If I was basing my cost per wear according to how many times I’ve worn each of these items to what I paid…Gap and Banana Republic would be owing me money for wearing their merch. 

You don’t always have to buy a $100 t-shirt to be fashionable.  Sometimes an $8 one from the Gap will last forever…I still have yet to throw out t-shirts I’ve had for the last 7 years.  Same goes for the pants I’ve picked up from their clearance sales. 

Always buy basics where you can save a few dollars.

c) Go thrift. Besides donating the things you don’t need, take advantage of the big sales at the Goodwill, Salvation Army and other similar thrift shops.  My favorite in NYC is Housing Works.  Most of these places have special sales that you should always be on the lookout for.  Housing Works opens their Warehouse up on the weekends.  For $25, you buy a brown bag and stuff whatever you find into it.  The downside is you have to dig through crates filled with merchandise for a great find.  My biggest find…EVER…was a Burberry coat.  It was the first thing I picked up on my first ever Buy the Bag.  What was even more shocking…it was in my size.  It was the best thrift find I’ve ever had.

Thanks to a lot of thrift stores, I’ve gained a lot of designer duds including Prada heels (2 pairs), Hermes and Tiffany & Co., as well as many other big designer names.  Looking at Housing Works site right now, I see a pair of Louboutin wedges in an auction for $100.  Not a bad price considering they’re worth way more than that.

d) Target, anyone?  I love when big designers collaborate with Target…especially when those designers hit the clearance rack (which can happen).  You can wind up wearing designer duds at Target prices.  It’s a great way to start adding big names to your wardrobe.  My favorite so far has been a Thakoon dress.  I’ll be hitting up the Jason Wu next week.

e) Hit the clearance racks…when they go an extra 50%+ off.  I’ve bought so much Calvin Klein and BCBG thanks to those clearance racks.  I once took home a head to toe Calvin Klein outfit…for $13.

f) Hit up the discount retailers.  When I first started building my fantasy wardrobe, Filene’s Basement, Daffy’s, Marshalls and TJ Maxx really helped. 

*Note: I’m not sold on outlet malls.  I don’t think their pricing is conducive to qualitative products.  A lot of times those products are misshapen, castoffs, etc. and not worthy of the actual store it came from…so they wind up in outlet land.  I know I can also get a better deal online or perusing clearance racks with the same article of clothing in perfect health.  I don’t recommend buying your stuff at the outlet malls…especially since LastCall.com (Neiman Marcus’ outlet) and Nordstrom Rack are both online.  They can’t sell messed up clothing to you online because the rate of returns would be very high…while at the mall itself, you pay for what you get.*

4. Clip Coupons. Don’t become an extreme couponer.  But do clip coupons to save some dough.  I clip coupons, but I also earn rewards from every place I can get more money back…like Ebates, RecycleBank (where you earn points for taking surveys and learning about going green to use towards coupons and free stuff), and even the manufacturer websites themselves.  

When you have a pretty strict diet like mine, you have to save where you can.  I even shop at the Dollar Tree, Dollar Store and Jack’s 99 cent stores.  I like finding things that I can use or donate to the local Food Pantry.  Jack’s, I’m a huge fan of.  I once bought a set of Pottery Barn stemware for $12.  That’s $1 per stem.  No one knows that’s what I paid (well, you do now)…what matters is that they’re still Pottery Barn glasses. 

When I do eat, I am a bit of a foodie, especially when I cook.  I pick up a lot of international and foodie type ingredients at my local Jack’s for less than what I would pay at other stores.  That’s a huge help.

Always look for ways to save on things you buy.  There are always ways to get a better deal…you just have to do your research…and be on the lookout (even your friends will spread the news).

5. Circle of Life.  Want to know why my portfolio was up 340%?  Because I believe in the circle of life when it comes to money.  I buy stock in companies I actually do business with…like Whole Foods.  As much as we complain about the price, in NYC…their organic foods are cheaper than Food Emporium.  So since I’m buying my food at Whole Foods…why not buy stock in that company, too?  Not only that…but why not promote them too?

Believe it or not, buying stock in Whole Foods was my Forbes stock tip of the day.  I went through pre-clearance with my job then bought the stock after the approval.  Forbes picked this stock as being one of five stocks that they expected to have growth.  Forbes is my ONLY SOURCE on what stocks to buy.  They have never done me wrong.  I’ve profited nicely thanks to every stock tip they’ve ever given to me.  Granted, with the stocks they highlight…I let my intuition be my guide as far as which of the 100s they’ve chosen will be the one that I buy.

Buying Whole Foods stock just seemed logical to me since I made a life change, and Forbes was mentioning the stock. Now that I’m buying more veggies and fruit for my new juicing diet, I thought it would be better to invest in the store where I’m buying my food.  I’ll get my money back by way of dividends.

When you invest in the places where you shop, do regular business, etc. you are putting the bang for your buck even further.  It takes a lot of research to figure out what’s best for your life…if you like McDonald’s hamburgers…then buy stock in McDonald’s.  You love the Gap?  Buy stock in it.  Diversify your portfolio, just as diversified as you are in life.  Buy stock in the companies that has your cellular phone contracts, provides your energy, your cable contracts…anything and everything that has to do with every walk of your existence.  Invest in gold or silver, because that’s what your ring is made out of.  Invest in Honda, because you drive an Accord.

See where I’m going here?  If you’ve invested in buying these things and doing business with these companies (some places you feel forced to do business with), why not get your money’s worth and invest in those same companies.  You’re not the only one banking with these people…you’re just going to be the smarter one about it.

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Get your financial houses in order FIRST before proceeding any further.  Check the websites out.  Read up on personal finance news at Yahoo! Finance, Forbes, etc.  Check the financial books out of the library. Learn, learn, learn. 

In this day and age, it pays to be smart about your finances, but you have to start from scratch and know what you’re doing…take baby steps and move forward.  It took me six months to put each financial action into play.  Once I got used to what was going on (the changes in my paycheck, the rebalancing of my accounts, etc.), it became clockwork…making the basic management of money easy. After I was able to accomplish all of those things…I moved on to the next venture in growing my own net worth.  For me, that next step is launching my own business.  It took a long time to get there…a lot of dreaming and planning…but it’s time.  Why?  Because I have bigger dreams that require bigger money…and I’m not counting on anyone but myself to make those dreams happen, because they’re my dreams that I have to make come true.

All of you know what I’m talking about…achieving dreams is not really rocket science…it’s just a lot of hard work, passion and determination.  Start getting your life in gear and you’re on your way to that fantasy wardrobe.

I was watching Dexter Season 5 over the weekend.  I was upset that Julie Benz was written off the show…happy that Julia Stiles made the season…and creeped out at the horrible evil out there. 

Yes, it’s just a show.  Yes, what happened to Lumen (Stiles’ character) has and does happen to women.  After Dexter set Lumen free from her captor, she asked him what he was going to do with her next.  Sell her? 

Yes, that happens in America, too. 

The ongoing theme I saw here was that these girls that were selected…they were all girls that no one would go looking for.  They were girls recently transplanted in a new city.  They were girls that worked odds and ends jobs (like on cruise ships).  They were girls that employers would not miss if the girls didn’t show up for work, because they didn’t have permanent jobs.  They were just working a lot of miscellaneous jobs.

There were girls that were hiding from their family.  Their parents wouldn’t be looking for them just one week after arriving in the big city. 

There are girls that come from overseas, thinking they are coming to the US with a job in hand, only to get here to find that they are trafficked, sold and resold to the highest bidder.  They are forced to work as dancers, strippers, prostitutes, or ‘spa’ workers.  They drug the girls up so they won’t run off at the start. Some girls end up becoming addicted and having to owe money to their john for their upkeep, along with their newly found habits.

The scariest thing of all of this…no one is looking for them.  At least, not at the start.

When I first moved to NYC, my job really looked out for me.  They always made sure that I reported in…especially if I was traveling alone.  A job that expects you at the office 35-40 hours a week…they’ll know if you’ve gone missing.  They’ll go looking for you and will report you missing.

Friends you make…they’ll do that, too, especially if you’re both from small towns living in the big city for the first time.  You look out for each other.

That’s the thing…even if you are alone…you need to have someone looking out for you no matter where you go.

I know a lot of people are shocked that I travel alone all of the time, especially internationally.  In Europe, I’m usually safe.  I’m not in my 20s.  I’m 35…not really a market out there for women like me in the slave trade.  I’m also from NYC, so I’m aware of a lot of the schemes out there.  As a human rights activist, I’m also aware of the trafficking schemes. 

Slavery does exist in America, as well as all over the world.  You think just because Abe Lincoln got rid of slavery that it doesn’t exist here in the States?  Oh, it does.  Who keeps these slave businesses running?  Look to your men, ladies.  Politicians, cops, doctors, dentists, average joes…you name it…they keep slave handlers in business.  It’s a very profitable enterprise…the sexploitations of human beings. 

Some of these girls end up tortured, beaten…and later killed.  They’re not human to these people paying big johns for their services.  They are treated as something less than a human being…that’s what justifies the unthinkables that they do to these people.

You may think that this will never happen to you or anyone that you know…but I’ve seen it happen to people I know.  Even my cousin was almost trafficked before he put in a call to my mother asking for $500 so that he could go to Sweden.  Everything he described after that I told my mother to tell him, “NO.”  What she was surprised to learn from me on why I was saying no, saved his life.

Ends up I was right.  It was a human trafficking scheme.  Some of his friends that bought into this scheme…he never heard from again…neither did their families.  He later found out the betrayal that went down.  The trafficker was later arrested for human trafficking…and then let go, only to head to another village to start their business up again.

These things happen all over the world.  Teens can run away and end up a sex slave because they trusted the wrong person.  They know mom and dad aren’t going to go looking for them because these runaways are from a broken home.  These people are ideal candidates for the sex slave trade…the people NO ONE is looking for.

But let’s talk about another danger that plagues women…stalking.  In my lifetime, I’ve had two stalkers.  Both have threatened to kill me before cops came rolling in.  Why did they threaten to kill me?  Because they’re mentally ill.  They think that a woman that was kind to them once, means that she’s their girl after that.  One guy told the entire neighborhood I was his girlfriend.  One of my neighbors said, “Then why is she always with that cop?”  Some of the neighbors tried to play it to him straight to really force the truth…that girl is not yours…she doesn’t even talk to you.

That made him crazier.  He started hanging out in front of my home before I went to work and in the evenings (I never come home at the same time).  He then yelled to me across the street something he had seen going on in my house when I wasn’t home.  He told me about my roommate’s activities. 

I walked into the house and told my roommate what he just said.  She turned ghastly white and said, “How would he know that unless he was looking in the windows?”

The next week, I tried to take a new route home.  He found me.  Luckily, someone was outside of their home when he threatened to kill me.  I got home, he took another way to get to the front of my house before I did…started apologizing for scaring me…it just made him so crazy that I wouldn’t acknowledge his existence.  I walked in, closed the door, locked it, called my cop boyfriend…and let’s just say that police beatings in Washington, DC do happen when someone threatens the life of one of their own.  They trumped up some big charges on the guy to keep him out of the neighborhood for the next 2 years.  I was gone by the time he was let out of jail.

The cops beat him up very badly.  They actually hurt him to the point that it maimed him.  There’s nothing he can do about it.  Why?  They would be at his door again to take matters into their own hands again.  They don’t take too lightly to stalkers stalking one of their own…and threatening to kill that person. 

They could easily come up with that third strike. 

I am talking about stalking today for a reason.  There is a reader that has been stalking me as of late.  I know who he is.  I was warned when I came back from Morocco that I had a serious problem.  I wasn’t aware that I did, but talking about falling in love with Hamid on this site is what made the situation worse. 

What they had to tell me about this individual was so bad, they had to call him to tell him to stop.  He was caught outside of my home on two separate occasions while I was out of the country.  I’ve caught him once before.  But after I got back, I’ve caught him 3 additional times.  Once, he was in his car.  The other two times, he tried to wear a disguise, but I recognized his eyes.

There is a reason why I’m not covering hockey as much this season…I was told what had happened while I was out of the country…and frankly it scared the hell out of me.  I was told that I was within my right to press charges, but they would try to handle the situation so that I wouldn’t have to go to the law.

Can you imagine me pressing stalking charges against a public figure?  The things I heard about him…apparently he has a history of doing this to women that reject him.  They told me that he has an unnatural obsession with me.  His employers told me this! 

Things are getting so out of hand now that he’s been disguising himself in my neighborhood…because who knows…someone may recognize him…like me!

Stalking is a mental illness.  There is nothing natural about it.  It is not normal.  Normal people do not sit out in front of a woman’s house and wait for her to leave for work or hang out outside her home when she comes home.  They don’t drive around her neighborhood trying to figure out her schedule.  They don’t sit out in front of her home PERIOD!  They don’t cruise around the neighborhood because THEY DON’T LIVE THERE! 

The only people that do that are people that seek to do that person harm…and that is why the law protects the stalking victims. 

People that stalk are not right in the head…they’re not. 

When I told Hamid about this stuff, he looked at me with a confused look on his face and said, “Why doesn’t he just let it go?”  He went on to vent about how I have shown every single sign imaginable to let this person know that I wanted nothing to do with him…so why doesn’t he just let it go? 

That is why his employers have called it an ‘unnatural obsession.’  It is not natural.  It is not normal.  This is not what normal people do.  Either conform to what normal people do or risk spending some time in prison…and a very embarrassing decline in public eye.

That being said…ladies…always be careful.  There are always weirdos out there.  ALWAYS!  I’ve had my share of lunatics…and the reason why they obsess?  Because the woman rejects them.

For those who have never taken Rape Defense Courses…take them.  Sign up for them.  Learn how you can fight for yourself and how to protect yourself should anything happen to you.  Luckily, I’ve never had to use these self defense techniques, but it gives you confidence in yourself.  That confidence can stop a would be attacker right off the bat. 

Always be alert to your surroundings.  Let your intuition be your guide.  If something doesn’t feel right, that’s your fight or flight response mechanism going off.  Your intuition is your first line of defense in protecting yourself.

It wasn’t so long ago that my intuition went off on a guy across the street in my neighborhood.  He was walking towards the train station, I was walking the opposite way.  Half a block later, he shows up at my side with an umbrella telling me how pretty I am.  I stepped to the side and almost beat the crap out of the guy.  Why?  Because in this day and age it is highly inappropriate for a man to walk up to a woman at 11PM at night…especially when my intuition took note that he was bad news….AND heading in the opposite direction when I saw him earlier.  Why is he all of a sudden on my side of the street, heading the other way.

I yelled at him all the way down the street telling him how inappropriate his actions were and to get the hell away from me.  I made sure I was loud enough so that neighbors could hear.  His only response was, “I don’t understand.”  He kept telling me how pretty I was.  I pulled out my phone, ready to press the police department’s number on my speed dial when he took off down the street.  [You can’t tell me he was up to any good when that’s his reaction.]

Most women would have maced the guy.  Me, I would just beat the shit out of him if calling the cops hadn’t worked.

See ladies…you have to listen to your intuition.  Some things you pick up and note (like I did: 1) noticing a stranger in the neighborhood at 11PM, 2) noting that he’s walking in the opposite direction on the other side of the street)…that’s your guardian angel looking out for you and putting up warning signs for you so that you know how to act and react when you are confronted with the situation.

If I hadn’t noticed the guy walking the opposite way on the other side of the street, my action would have been very different.  That’s why you should always note your surroundings…and listen to your intuition.

I also take note where each and every cop is on my routes.  I take note of the people around me, where they are standing, who they are, what they are wearing, etc.  That’s why I wear sunglasses all of the time.  I don’t want people to know what I am observing. 

You have no idea who is observing you.  I’m always surprised that people I don’t know on my bus know what my stop is before I say “excuse me, this is my stop.”  Granted, it’s nice, but at the same time, if I observe people like this…people observe you, too.

Most times, that stuff is innocent.  Other times…not so.  You have to always be on alert for the not so innocent ones.

As for the weirdos stalking as of late…I’ve been off the market for awhile…I’m not going back on the market anytime soon.  I’m especially not going to go back on the market for some guy that’s stalking my home.  Really…I think you’re mentally ill.

Also, another note to the ladies…I know that there are some men out there with the notion that insulting a woman is grounds for getting her number…I have had this happen to me a few times in NYC.  For some strange reason…that just does not work with me.  All they get is a really pissed off woman.

One guy tried to hit on me in the press box.  I almost hit him for the shit he was saying to me.  Then, he thought he would try one last time and handed me his phone number.  I waited a minute after he left to throw the card in the trash can.

Another guy, said to me, “Do you think anyone gives a shit about what you write?”  Of course, he said that after he tried to pick me up…and it wasn’t going so swimmingly.  I had the owner throw him out of the bar.  The owner was so mad…he kept going on about how a famous writer was in his establishment and this drunk idiot was bugging her.  Excellent service, I might add.

Just recently…another guy that I thought was just a colleague, tells me he’s newly separated the second I get in his car to go to a hockey game.  My intuition went off saying this was not a good situation.  The next 2 hours I spent listening to how Hamid is going to beat me up (because he’s a Muslim Arab and that’s what they do), how my soon to be betrothed was evil (because that’s what Muslim Arabs are).  He laughed about me having a stalker.  He laughed about me falling in love with a Muslim Arab nomad.  He made fun of me to the point that now when I get his creepy texts asking where I am and if I’m with my guy…it gets a DELETE, because it’s none of his fucking business.

Want to piss me off…you spread hate, make fun of a woman to her face, act like you’re the only man she could possibly want…when she has a man…degrade her, say shit to her about herself (and her guy)…oh yeah…you’re on her shit list for LIFE. 

Guys, you win more girls with being honest and being poetic.  Even the homeliest men in Morocco were able to sweet talk to me.  They didn’t get the whole…get the fuck out of my face. Why?  Because they didn’t spout words of poetry in an effort to have sex with me.  They said it in an effort to be honest and true from their heart. 

Also, Moroccan men are godfearing…that means that they’re so afraid that God will smack the crap out of them…they are GOOD at all times.  The second one of them steps out of line (especially in an offensive way against a woman) a village of men come together and all hell breaks loose on that one guy. 

Guys want to know why I speak so highly of Moroccan men?  Because these are men that are looking for their soulmates.  They don’t treat women horribly.  It’s not to say that there aren’t the occasional abusers (just like anywhere else), but there are many men there that speak from their hearts and souls all of the time.  They know that if a soul connection is not made, that woman is not meant for them. 

That’s the thing…everyone wants to connect to other human beings.  If there’s no connection…let it go.  Don’t stalk them hoping that a connection will be made.  If a woman is avoiding you like the plague…chances are you creep her out.  A woman has a better understanding if you are right for her or not.  It’s actually in our DNA. Women have better perceptions than men do on whether a man is a good mate or not…or whether they are just chemically wrong for each other.

Although ladies…you want to pick the wrong mate?  Try finding one while you are on birth control.  Birth control actually inhibits this biological sense to know whether a mate is chemically good for us or not.  Our sense of smell actually can tell you whether a man is a good mate (which means healthy babies free of diseases/birth defects) or a bad mate.  Trust me…it works, but for those looking for the love of a lifetime…you know, the good mates…you have to find them without birth control in your system.  (Sorry, ladies…it’s just a biological thing.)  Just pick up this book from Jena Pincott.  She explains all from the science point of view (a lot of that stuff shocked the hell out of me, but explained all). 

As for creepy guys that may have seen yourself reflected in this blog post…let women do the choosing.  Quit paying for the slave trade.  Quit stalking women that apparently know you’re bad news (and that’s why they stay the fuck away from you).  Really…she’s not going to change her mind about this…especially after she’s discovered you outside of her apartment several times already and YOUR JOB has already warned her that there’s a serious situation going on…and YOU ARE THE MENTAL CASE THEY ARE REFERRING TO. 

Like Hamid says…just let it go.  You guys really need to get a healthier look at that human race called women.  Most of you are okay…it’s the creepy ones we have to worry about.  They really make all of humanity look like they should be smited out of existence.  Sometimes it takes one bad seed to ruin it for everyone.  Food for thought…

I’ve been waiting for this film to come out on DVD for a year now.  I have to say…this documentary did not disappoint.  I awwed, cooed, laughed, and sat back in complete awe at a brilliant masterpiece about four babies from four very different parts of the world and their first year of life.  San Francisco, Namibia, Tokyo and Mongolia are the four regions these babies are from. 

It’s so interesting to see how first world countries are not so different from each other in raising children (i.e. San Francisco and Tokyo).  I even had to sit there asking…’why is she naked?’  Then there was the “Now, I’ve seen everything!” 

I laughed hysterically at the Tokyo baby throwing a huge fit because she was given a toy that she couldn’t figure out.  I kept saying…now, why would they do that to the poor child?  But it’s just a way of showing how in Japan, intelligence is embedded in the mind of a child at a very young age…that is, the need to be highly intelligent.  Can you imagine her frustration when she couldn’t figure out why the wheel kept falling off?  Oh, she threw a gigantic fit!

Then there were these weird baby classes.  I don’t understand why we have weird baby classes in America or in any first world countries. 

I was surprised at the bathing rituals of the kids.  From the regular bathing with parents, to the big basin, to washing a baby’s face with a mother’s milk (that did not look sanitary to me), and then cleaning a baby like an animal would clean their young.  No diapers?  Why…the baby will just go on the mom’s leg, and she’ll take a corn husk and just wipe it off. 

There were some shocking ways that babies are raised…even in America that had me thinking…not any one way to raise a baby is correct, nor is it wrong.  Weird?  Yes.  You just pray the baby turns out okay.

I will say that I liked the community involved in Namibia in child rearing.  I didn’t see any men.  I only saw the women sharing the duties of raising the children.  If you were breast feeding, you don’t turn away other babies…unless a third comes along, then they just have to wait.

All parents scold their children in the same way.  Siblings in Namibia really do look out for their younger brothers and sisters…and they’re very serious about it, too. 

I thought it was cute when one child was trying to learn how to stand up on his own, another baby that could already do it, came over to try to show him how to stand up. 

Child rearing…it’s best to have other children around because they will help teach other babies how to advance much better than an adult can teach the baby.  It’s evident in the film.  A child is more likely to go straight to the task at hand when they’re exposed and raised with other children.  They learn and are inspired by the other kids.  That’s what I liked most about the Namibia culture.

I also enjoyed watching the animals interact with the babies.  They know it’s just a baby pulling at them, dragging them around, standing in the middle of a stampede…they watch out for that little tyke.  Even the cows notice the little baby in the middle of the field.  They try to protect him.  Cats and dogs…they just tolerate the pulling and tugging…and they never snap at the little one. 

If you haven’t seen this documentary, I definitely recommend it.  It was so enjoyable and educational.  In a way, it was like a primer to get ready for the future.  😉

Here’s a clip from the movie:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vupEpNjCuY]

Spring is right around the corner.  In some parts of the US, maybe a little sooner than anticipated.  There’s nothing that says HAPPY like a spring update in our homes in springlike colors.

At The Foundary today, I found the above pillow covers in yellow.  I think pillow covers are great!  Instead of buying an entire pillow and then having so many pillows you don’t know what to do with when you want a refreshing new look, pillow covers come in very handy, because they are very easy to store.

Just last night, as I was moving the rugs around from one room to the next, I took a look at my couch and thought that new yellow pillows would look fantastic with the rug I just moved into the living room.  Of course, that means $20-$100 worth of pillows from Target. 

Instead, I picked up two pillow covers in yellow for $38.  Not a bad price, right?  They’ll match my other two yellow pillows I picked up last year from Target.  I can just cover up the other pillows that don’t match the look I’m going for this spring.

West Elm also sells pillow covers (as well as inserts) that will cost you from $9.99 (for the boring cover) to $39 per cover. 

For those wanting to shop at The Foundary, here is the invitation code: The Foundary.

I really like the site.  It has really cool home stuff at great prices.  Plus, when you invite others to join, you’ll receive a $10 credit.

Next on my spring update is a white sofa slipcover from Simply Shabby Chic from Target (currently $109).  One thing’s for sure…I’ll need a lint brush handy with a black and white tuxedo cat rolling around on the sofa! 

Also, for those that are big on the chevron pattern, there are a few chevron pillows in different spring colors at the Foundary for around the same price I paid. 

Happy Spring Cleaning!

Well, ladies, I can’t say I’m officially a single girl, because that’s not true.  But I am spending Valentine’s Day alone this year, just like every year.  My guy is out in the sand dunes of the Sahara Desert, so I don’t plan on spending this American holiday with him.  I actually won’t get to see him until July (or August). 

Spending another V-Day alone seems like disaster right?  I’m sure some of us can attest to having had one of those boyfriends that either mysteriously disappears around every major holiday that requires him to spend money (Christmas, birthdays, Valentine’s Day)…or breaks up with you right before said holiday, gets back with you after the holiday and then dumps you again before the next holiday and then is back again after said holiday.  Yes, I’ve had one of those losers.  It took me a couple of years to figure out what he was doing. 

Then there are those that are discourteous…you end up buying everything for V-Day…you even make the romantic dinner…sit at the table and wait…and he doesn’t show up until 1AM. 

Oh yes, the crappy boyfriends that have us thinking that we’re better off single with the way they treat us.

Not all men are that way.  I still have yet to date a guy that was actually there for all holidays…so I’m used to spending every single holiday by myself or with friends. 

This year is a little different though…he actually has a solid excuse…he’s in Morocco and physically can’t be here for the holiday.  So that still leaves me as a solo practitioner on Valentine’s Day.  Rest assured…if I’ve survived the holiday every single year of my adult life ALONE…you can too.  

Here are some ideas to how you can make your Valentine’s Day a great one.

1.  FOCUS ON ME!  Instead of expecting someone else to make your Valentine’s Day a day you would LOVE, why don’t you do something for yourself and make it a “ME” Day?  Every year, since I’ve been in NYC, I’ve made a spa appointment to Bliss Spa.  I go there once a year, and this is the only time of year when I go. 

I’ll book some really cool treatment, a massage and a waxing.  I end up leaving so relaxed, forget needing a guy to relax you into bliss…let someone else knead the stress out of your body and pamper you from head to toe. 

2.  Along with focusing on ME, a stop at Tiffany & Co. may brighten your day.  Can’t afford Tiffany?  Well, take a look at their website.  Right now, I have my eye on the Jitney Tote in Tiffany Blue.  Retail is $495, but I’m justifying this hefty purchase with the thought that I would be a seriously happy camper with this bag on my arm.  For those who don’t want to spend as much…consider buying something for the home from Tiffany & Co.  You can buy stemware for $20 per glass, a crystal bowl for $30,  or a mug for $35.  You can even buy a scarf for $50.

Jewelry on your mind?  Well, you’ll have to splurge for that one…but you can get this Tiffany Hearts Pendant for $100.

For those really wanting a Tiffany & Co. deal, try to search for used/like new items on Bonanza.com and ShopGoodwill.com.  I’ve received plenty of Tiffany & Co. home products through ShopGoodwill.com in the past.  I even scored an Hermes toucan plate!

3.  Buy YOUR FAVORITE flowers.  I always hated getting red roses.  I always thought that the guy put ZERO thought into the gift.  I remember once telling the ‘disappearing act’ that it would be nice if he just stopped and picked up a $3 bouquet from off one of the street vendors.  You know…that didn’t even work! 

Instead of wishing that the guy would buy your favorite flower, order them online to be delivered to you on Valentine’s Day…OR just pick up a bunch on your way home. 

Even the day after Valentine’s you’ll find serious markdowns on flowers that you can buy in mass quantities to beautify your home.  Order your favorites to be delivered, and then bulk up the day after V-Day for your home.  Trust me, seeing flowers next to your bed first thing in the morning will brighten up your day.

Personally, I just prefer picking the flowers out myself and bringing them home with me on V-Day.

But if you want to know what the best gift is?  Sending flowers to your closest friends (whether they are single or with someone).  This day is about LOVE, and one thing’s for sure, I love my girlfriends like they’re my sisters…so sending flowers to them, especially if they are single, will surely brighten their day! 

4.  ORDER IN.  What’s your favorite takeout?  Order from them and let them deliver it to you.  DO NOT…ABSOLUTELY…DO NOT offer to pick it up on your way home.  You would be a glutton for punishment if you were to attempt to do that. 

Whether it’s pizza or Thai food (my personal fave), make plans to order in.  Don’t attempt to meet the girls at a fave locale, because you’ll regret it.  Why?  1) Good luck finding a table, 2) Why torture yourself with the lovey dovey crap around the restaurant, 3) Why sit around watching other couples?

Just plan on a night in.  If you can’t do it alone, invite the girls over and order takeout delivery, buy a bottle of wine, and throw in a cheesy chick flick.  Girls Night Out! 

5.  Be Smart About the Chick Flick.  I don’t recommend watching an I HATE MEN chick flick.  I recommend watching a chick flick that inspires you to be open to love.  “Love Actually” comes to mind.  If I’m not at the spa on V-Day, that’s my go-to film…or Notting Hill.  I like that they’re not necessarily from the woman’s point of view, but from the man’s point of view…or both.  Love Acutally is unbiased because it covers all spectrums of love. 

Do not put in a Jane Austen flick (God help you if you do).  If you must, at least put in Sex and the City. 

Don’t put in any kind of movie that will make you hate yourself after you finish watching it.  Watch a movie that will inspire you from February 15th and on to find the love that you are looking for.  Don’t start the 15th off in an “I HATE MEN” mode…start it off knowing what it is you want.  That’s why I say watch an inspiring chick flick.

6.  When in doubt, MEDITATE.  I actually started doing this on Valentine’s Day three years ago.  I learned something about myself and what I was looking for when it came to love.  The perfect guy for me…he’s the guy that was spiritually in tune to the universe like I was.  I was looking for a soulmate…not just love. 

I wanted someone that I could connect with through my heart and soul.  Crazy that what I was looking for…I had to go all the way to the friggin Sahara Desert to find…and he had to be a Muslim Arab.  Irony, right?  Luckily for me, he’s more spiritual than he is a devout Muslim.  We connected in ways that had me realizing that the kind of love I was always asking for was the kind of love story that God could write with his own hand in the stars above.  For it was gazing at the stars above that had me standing still in a moment to realize that my soul had connected with the man sitting next to me. 

I think Hamid knew when he first saw me that I was the one.  It would explain why he forbade all single men from taking me out into the desert to watch the sun setting.  I had three different guides before the only married one of the bunch took me to the top of the dunes.  I saw Hamid watching from the tents to make sure nothing happened.  He knew before I did. 

It takes a lot of fighting with God about how THE ONE has never shown up, to actually admitting to yourself that what you’re looking for is a tall order…and in time (the right time, I might add), he’ll make his appearance known to you…when you’re both ready.

When I realized Hamid was the person I was searching for, it was that silent moment where you’re standing still that you realize that you’re standing before God and he’s giving you the exact thing that you’ve been waiting for all of your life…that’s when it happens. 

It was through meditation that I came to terms with past loves and let go of them.  It was through meditation that I discovered what I was truly looking for in a mate.  It was through meditation that I learned to love again.

Meditating on V-Day about love was probably the smartest thing I ever started doing.  I eventually found love…and I found it because I was open to possibilities.  I was open to the possibility that love was sitting right next to me…if only I would look to my right and see him sitting right there. 

It takes faith in God, a lot of meditation, and being open to the possibility that sometimes what you think is what you want is not what you need…God knows what you need better than you do.  And God writes better fairy tales than you ever will.

7. Cupcakes, anyone?  Ok…so bon bons are the IT thing for V-Day.  But you know what truly brings a smile to our faces?  CUPCAKES!  Oh, in NYC we are spoiled.  We have Magnolia Bakery, Sprinkles, Crumbs…oh, the list goes on. 

Chocolates may have a special place in our hearts, but cupcakes make us SUPER HAPPY! 

So stop and buy yourself a half a dozen, or a dozen minis (I like the minis from Crumbs…comes in lots of different flavors).  Nothing says loving like a cupcake!

8.  Buy yourself something SEXY!  Who says we can’t try and be a vixen when we’re solo?  Ok…in all honesty, just pull on your favorite PJs and curl up on the sofa for Love Actually.  We’d really feel more comfortable, right? 

If you go the all sexy route…make sure there are toys nearby.  Just saying…

9.  Want to curl up to a good book?  Well, make sure you have your fave cocktail in hand (see 10 for a special cocktail).  For me, since I’m missing my desert beau, I’ve been reading “The Oracle of Stamboul” by Michael David Lukas.  It hasn’t turned into a love story…yet, but it reminds me of Morocco.  I’ll admit that it’s hard to turn Morocco off when I stop reading and I’m walking around NYC.

Another good book to curl up to is “The Help” (if you haven’t read it yet).  It’s one phenomenal story. 

For those who just want a Harry Potter’ish novel, try picking up any of the beginning books from the Rick Riordan series.  There are 2 series.  One is the Percy Jackson series, the other is the Kane chronicles.  Another great series is the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel from Michael Scott.  The series starts off with The Alchemyst.  Great read! 

Notice the theme?  I’m steering you towards great stories that will  capture your attention and keep you away from the Jane Austen/love stories out there [do not read Jane Austen on V-Day].

10. How about a Cocktail?  Ok…so maybe the non-alcoholic variety, but oh, so good (you do have to go to work the next day):

Peach Prosecco Spritzer (from Epicurious)

1. Head to the gym (who knows, you might meet a single guy while running on the treadmill).
2. Hit up the juice bar (the guy behind the counter may be a cutie)
3. Cook up a good, healthy meal…find a recipe and try something new
4. Go for a long run (I’ve heard lots of stories about runners meeting their mates running in Central Park)
5. Grab your ice skates and go skating (there’s always a cute guy around)
6. Try the spa…trust me, your body will thank you for it later.

**********************

I’ve been doing some research into the raw food diet and juicing.  I’m not 100% sold on raw food yet, because when I eat, I generally like my food piping hot, because it soothes my esophagus and warms my tummy, making food a lot easier to get down.  Cold and warm foods (unless it’s just plain salad) are not so easy to get down.

I’ve been checking out several of the raw food recipes and I keep thinking…most of these meals just seem…unappealing to me.  But juicing…that seems more up my alley.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been incorporating more freshly squeezed juices into my diet…mainly fresh carrot juice and fresh grapefruit juice.  It took some adjusting to liking the taste of grapefruit juice or carrot juice…but after a few days, my body started craving freshly squeezed juices.

Today, since I’m starting to develop the after effects of the common travel cold, I’ve had to up the juicing bounty.

One drink that my grandfather used as a cure-all ever since I was a little kid was a tablespoon of honey, mixed with the juice of one lemon, and hot water.  I can tell you now…the sore throat is gone, as well as that horrible, dry, achy feeling in my nasal cavity.

Thanks to this little cure-all, it brought the inflammation down in my esophagus, eased the swelling in my stomach…and now I can eat (salad, of course).  I didn’t need medicine or a doctor’s visit…just the good ole, tested but true, old fashioned, all-natural remedy.

I will tell you this…with all of these liquids and juices, I do find that I’m a lot fuller.  Sure, I feel like eating a huge salad, but then 1/3 of the way through the salad and I can’t eat another bite!

I don’t recommend the ‘on the go’ friendly version of juicing.  I tried to drink a Naked Juice, but I ended up having an allergic reaction to something they added to the juice.  I plan on just sticking to the basic stuff with no extra additives that boost the juice’s power. 

I’ve been asking around about juicing, and those who do juice have reported incredible improvements in their energy levels, as well as with their overall health.  A lot of people have their own favorite blends.

In all honesty, I like the straight up just carrot, just watermelon or just grapefruit.  I think juicing would be a great way for me to try to sneak in my daily allowances of fruits and vegetables.  Eating is a bit of a challenge for me, so maybe juicing is the answer.

As for raw foods, I’m going to have to keep researching it, maybe develop some recipes of my own before I catch on.  Based on a lot of the research I’ve done so far on the lifestyle, it has been a great way to curb cancer, especially for those who have a history of it.

I’ve seen some organic juicing supplements that I may incorporate in…like juice supplements that completely relax you.  I have a hard time relaxing…I literally get freaked out when I ‘try’ to relax.  Maybe a juice supplement for relaxing will help?  I’ll have to do additional research. 

As for people that juice for weight-loss…I haven’t spoken to anyone that did juicing purely to lose weight.  I think that might be a little on the dangerous ‘fad’ diet side.  This should be more as a diet in addition to making healthy lifestyle changes.

I’m going to try to go mainly liquid for the next few months to see if my body does a turn around that gets me out of the red abyss and at least into the yellow (more than 3-4 points away from the red).  I’ll try to do one non-liquid meal a day (not necessarily raw food), as well as some Greek yogurt.

My health has to be this bad if I’m becoming an extreme health nut.  I’m not expecting to lose any weight from this, because I know how my body likes to hold onto everything.  For those who would like to read up on Juicing for Weight-Loss, here’s an interesting article.  I like that it gives you the guidelines on how to juice along with a couple of recipes.  Rule of Thumb: 1 veggie, 1 fruit and 1 bitter veggie.

If you juice or go the raw food route, what recipes, books, links, etc. do you suggest?

12-18 months on medical lockdown will go by quickly, just like every year does.  So while I’m still in the USA, there are some things I’d like to do before packing up the apartment and splitting for good.  Here’s a list of things I’d like to do before leaving.

1. Try Texas BBQ (so I can understand why Texas boasts some of the most obese people in the entire US of A). 
2. Visit the top of the Statue of Liberty
   
3. Do a bus tour around Manhattan
   
4. Visit San Francisco (again) as an adult
   
5. Spend a weekend in Martha’s Vineyard
   
6. Spend a weekend in Cape Cod
   
7. Try the New England Clam Chowder…in Maine
   
8. Have my fortune read by a genuine fortune teller…in New Orleans
   
9. Alaskan Cruise…to see the glaciers and migrating whales.  Pet a whale.
   
10. Go fly fishing.
    
11. Visit Montana and hang out at a ranch.
    
12. Sundance Film Festival.
    
13. Some beach town in Florida…I’m not picky, just so long as I can golf.
    
14. A few Caribbean Islands (because it’s cheaper to fly from here to there)
    
15. South America (because I’m on this side of the world now…will be more difficult post-move).
    
16. Galapagos (see 15 as reason)
    
17. Costa Rica reserves (see 15 as reason) also to hang out with the exotic animals
    
18. Mayan Temples (see 15 as reason)
    
19. Macchu Picchu (see 15 as reason)
    
20. Try a waffle cone in Portland, Oregon
    
21. Go to the Country Living Fair in Austin, Texas & check out the local bands (April 27-29, 2012)
    
22. Go golfing in South Carolina and hit up the beach
    
23. Buffalo Sabres in Buffalo…to visit Jillian.
    
24. Fairs, fairs and fairs…
    
25. Sea World in Florida
    
26. Disney’s Animal Kingdom!!!!  !!!!  !!!!
    
27. Go deep sea fishing
    
28. Swim with the dolphins at Grand Bahamas Island
    
29. Boston Bruins in Boston…visit well, everybody I know in Boston
    
30. Toronto, Canada…need to find out what the deal is with this place
    
31. Niagara Falls (while in Buffalo)
    
32. See Constantine Maroulis (see it’s on the list)
    
33. See Jekyll & Hyde…many, many, many times…because it’s my all-time favorite musical EVER.
    
34. Build up my DVD/book library to last the rest of my life
    
35. Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington, DC (April 14, 2012)
    
36. Mount Vernon
    
37. The Met
    
38. MoMA
    
39. The Guggenheim Museum
    
40. Hang out at Chelsea Piers…a lot (golfing perhaps?)
    
41. Golf in Las Vegas at 6AM (June 2012)
    
42. See Jaromir Jagr A LOT (like you’ll never see him again)…unfortunately that means Flyers games (YUCK!)
    
43. Be a fan of *AHEM* that hockey team no one is supposed to know you’re a fan of
    
44. Go to 1 football game in your lifetime…we’ll make it a Giants game
    
45. See NY Yankees vs. the Texas Rangers (make it so)
    
46. LA Galaxy vs. NY/NJ Red Bulls (David Beckham…yes!)
    
47. See Evgeni Malkin (I just love his coming to America story)
    
48. Go to a lot of movies (because they’ll be scarce in Africa)
    
49. See the ballet in NYC
    
50. Dress up to the nines and head to the Opera…like you used to do
    
51. Enjoy NYC like you’ve never enjoyed her before
    
52. Spend an entire day at Coney Island…just to say goodbye…and stop at the aquarium to say goodbye to the fishies
    
53. Finally accept the New Yorker festival invitation and GO
    
54. Hit up the fashion shows during Fashion Week
    
55. Hit up Fashion Night Out all over NYC
    
56. Watch the ball drop on NYE in NYC (book a hotel night near the event)
    
57. Get Lasik Eye Correction before moving
    
58. Buy the things you’ve always wanted, but could never justify treating yourself…it’s your last chance
    
59. Photograph Ilya Kovalchuk
    
60. See Laurence Fishburne
    
61. See at least one Disney Broadway show
    
62. Actually, see a lot of Broadway shows before you go…
    
63. Eat a true NY style pizza every now and again (try to, at least)
    
64. Print out the list of top 100 restaurants in the world…and go to all of the ones in NYC
    
65. Spend every single open time that you can with friends
    
66. HAWAII…enough said.
    
67. Spend some time in Redondo/Hermosa Beach before you go
    
68. Stock up on the stuff they don’t have in Africa (like tampons and rubber bands for your hair)
    
69. Switch out technology that’s too advanced for the older models…like the cell phone…no BlackBerry
    
70. Visit the Boardwalk in Atlantic City
    
71. Philly…Rocky…need I say more?
    
72. Fire your doctor…and do it to her face
    
73. See the Rockstar one last time…and don’t tell him that you’re going to his show.  Let him figure it out.
    
74. See all the guys from the old days
    
75. Vermont…just because it’s a weird state
    
76. Indy 500…just because it’s part of my history growing up in Indiana
    
77. Celine Dion IN CONCERT (June 2012?)
    
78. Criss Angel Mindfreak show in Vegas (June 2012?)
    
79. U2 on Tour???  Let’s see if they’ll make it so.
    
80. Central Park Zoo to see the famous lion from Madagascar. 😉
    
81. Take a stroll through Central Park…stop to read a book and enjoy the park
82. See the Northern Lights
    

Hmmm…will have to think up more…as they come along…

I haven’t read the book “Water for Elephants” yet.  I’ve been trying to, but the whole circus thing makes it hard for me to read it.  Maybe I will read it sometime this year.  Last night, though, I actually checked the movie out from the library and watched it.  I was getting ready to turn it off to start on my latest book, “The Oracle of Stamboul” by Michael David Lukas, when the elephant beating happened.

I wanted to kill the guy after he beat that elephant until she couldn’t get up.  Who in the hell does that?  I literally sat there with my hands over my mouth in shock and cried.  I had to keep reminding myself that this was only a movie…BUT stuff like that happens in real life.

I won’t go to the circus thanks to Kim Basinger’s campaign to educate the world in the animal cruelty that happens behind the scenes at circuses.  After learning this…even though a lot of things have changed thanks to PETA…I still won’t go to the circus.

You hear the stories in the news all of the time.  One place, they had too many dogs for dog sledding, so they not only starved them to death, one employee was forced by his boss to shoot them all or risk being fired.  He ended up doing his boss’s bidding and then he went out on disability for PTSD, because he was traumatized by what he was forced to do.

Then you see the dog fights and rooster fights that people bet on.

Then you have pit bulls that are starved to death, chained to the back of a truck and dragged along a road…there are holes in the poor dog’s legs.  He’s put down by animal control because he’s a pit bull…not because of the injuries he sustained being dragged.

Why are people so cruel to animals? 

I have found nothing but love and true care from animals.  I always find it strange when I’m traveling that dogs will walk down the street and out of nowhere come right up to me to say hello. They won’t stop for the people I’m with…they just come right up to me.

Animals sense things.  They can even sense when someone is a good person and when someone is really sick.

In Oia, Santorini, Greece, I had a whole island filled with dogs that escorted me all over their island.  They made it their duty to aid the sick.  The locals talked about how they were the spirit of the island.  That’s why they all took care of the dogs by leaving out food and water for them.

The dogs acted like tour guides and bodyguards for me.  When a guy they sensed as being evil started to approach me, the dog that was with me took off and started snarling and barking at him.  Next thing you know, four more dogs came out of nowhere, growling at him.  A couple of the dogs backed me up against the wall to protect me when the guy drew near. 

The guy stopped to talk to my friend.  I could only veer my friend away and head back down the path, because the dogs were restless.  We walked away and all five of the dogs followed us down the path to ensure we were safely away before breaking off.  I remarked to my friend that I didn’t think that guy was good news, because of the way the dogs were reacting.  She said she got that feeling too…but then remarked that the dogs weren’t protecting her…they were protecting me.

In Morocco, it’s considered rude to not eat your entire meal.  It’s like you’re saying the food wasn’t good if you don’t finish your meal.  Well, I can’t eat a lot.  Thank goodness for the cats.  They ended up hiding the fact that I wasn’t eating, because they ate everything for me.  I can’t eat three pieces of chicken.  I can eat one chicken leg.  The cats…they got two chicken legs.

One night, they made couscous with chicken, a lamb tagine, and beef with figs tagine.  That’s a lot of food for just one person!  A cat came out of nowhere and I started feeding the lamb to the cat (lamb is not something my body likes or can break down).  I could only say…thank goodness for the cat.

I also stopped to say hello to a donkey in a busy marketplace filled with donkeys.  Would you believe that donkey ended up coming to look for me in the marketplace later?  He literally came running up to me and stopped when he got to me.  He had this big ole smile on his face.  If I was living in Morocco, I would have bought him and brought him home right on the spot.  As Driss said to me later, he thought that maybe my soul connected with the animal.  He’s seen it happen many times but with dogs or cats.  This donkey and I connected and he was so happy to see me when he found me in the marketplace. 

Truthfully, the only reason why I even approached the donkey to begin with…I saw him looking at me taking photos of the donkeys.  He was watching me with so much interest, I went up to him and said hello.  Donkeys usually don’t care what’s going on around them…taking that much interest in a human…that says something.

There was even a time when I was younger that we brought in a new cat from off the street.  My brother was trying to horseplay with me when all of a sudden the cat came flying out of nowhere, jumped on my brother’s back and started attacking him. 

My brother stopped, a little confused by what was happening before we just bursted out laughing.  Needless to say, after I left, Gordon would only come back to visit when I was home.

Most of these animals I’ve encountered in my life have always been kind to me.  Since I got sick…they’ve acted as guides and protectors…and sometimes even doctors and lifesavers.  I can’t tell you how many times Surita knows when I’m going to throw up before I do.  She gets that look on her face.  20 seconds later, I feel it. 

When my lung was stopping, she managed to jump up onto the dresser and make a running jump to land on my chest to get me to wake up and ‘startle’ the lung into starting back up again. 

Every now and again, I’ll notice her wake up in the middle of the night and if she can’t hear me breathing, she’ll come and sit next to my face to check to make sure I am breathing, especially if it’s a night where I’m having difficulties.  She’ll sniff around, put her face in places she would not normally do if I was awake.  When she realizes I am awake, she backs off because she doesn’t like being caught doing that kind of stuff.

Animals have been very kind to me no matter where I go in this world.  Why anyone would treat animals so cruelly…or teach them to be cruel is beyond me.  There’s no logic to it.  Why beat an animal up because you want to show it that YOU are in charge? 

It’s a power thing…it’s the same kind of power thing that makes bullies beat up on other kids, and men beat up their women, and serial killers kill people. 

There is no room for cruelty in life, because someone is always watching…whether you see them or not.  Sins against humanity is not limited to sins against each other…cruelty that lies within a man’s heart…that’s what you are judged upon.  Acting upon that evil, that’s what is unforgiveable.

If you’ve been following me on Pinterest, you’ll notice my WANTS board.  I tend to throw a lot of purse lusts and Valentino onto the board.  Most of those lusts come directly from Saks.com.

While I was at The Bay in Ottawa, I caught a cheaper version of the same bag I was wanting from 3.1 Phillip Lim.  It was only $98…and I’m kicking myself that I didn’t buy it.  I really loved that bag.  But rest assured…I not only found a similar version of my wants at The Bay, but I also found more on their website! 

Since The Bay is a lot like Macy’s, I’m going to share my finds with you from the Wants board on Pinterest to the less expensive version.

1. Nancy Gonzalez Glazed Python Tote (price unknown, but in the 4 figures).

Spotted on Gossip Girl…a Nancy Gonzalez python tote that I can’t seem to find anywhere on the internet! 

Well, Canadian Store, The Bay, has something similar from Nine West.  They only have it in Henna, but it still has that ombre look.  It’s on sale for $43.19 CAD.

2.  Reed Krakoff Boxer Tote Bag, $990.

Now, I love this design with the buckles going across. I’ve been wanting this bag ever since I saw it.  Then lo and behold…The Bay has another bag similar to this beauty from Nine West for $125.  You can also find a few similar ones at DSW for $49.95.

3.  3.1 Phillip Lim Pashli Printed Croc-Print Leather Satchel, $975.

 

Of all the bags…this one is the one I covet the most.  While walking through The Bay, I saw a similar version for $98 and almost freaked.  I regret not having bought it there, because they don’t have it on their website.  Luckily, it’s sold at Macy’s.  It’s from Olivia & Joy.  You can also get it in another version for the same price.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So now the question is…which ones am I going to buy?  Well, I’m going to pay a visit to Macy’s when I return from Houston to see if I can pick up a few of these (or similar) with a coupon.  The Bay is very similar to Macy’s, so I hope the main store will have them all!

Since I’ve been on a bit of a personal financial lockdown (i.e. trying not to spend too much money), I was astounded to find out that I had more money in my accounts than I thought I did.  I couldn’t figure out why until I got to the office on Tuesday and saw an email from accounting saying that they paid out my 2011 sick leave.  Sweet!  More money in the bank? 

Well, for now, there is.  But that doesn’t mean that there weren’t some extra purchases made.  My first stop was to find a new rug for the office, because the one I purchased, doesn’t match at all with the decor.  I kept thinking while I was in Ottawa, I need to order the gray rug like I originally planned.

Well…a little search at Home Decorators Collection for a new rug…and I found an Eggplant jute rug that would match the room PERFECTLY!

3’x5′ Rug, $18.99 (comes in 4 colors)

Not a bad price, right?  I think after shipping and tax it was around $30.  Plus, I used Ebates, so I got an additional 3.5% back.

I purchased the dragonfly rug last week, laid it down before I started packing for Canada, took one look at it and thought…this is so not going to work.  Surita doesn’t even like it.  She’s liked everything we’ve done so far…this rug was a NO on her part (who knew the cat had taste).  I may end up moving the rug into the living room or the kitchen.

My next purchase was actually travel related…but very important.  On my Goodbye USA bucket list, I have “See Constantine Maroulis.”  Well, as you know on this site, I’ve seen Constantine…a few times.  But for some strange reason I feel like I need to see him again and again.  Odd thing is…I can’t call myself a fan of Constantine’s…I just really enjoy his work.  He’s one of those artists that make you feel what he’s doing…that passion for what he does.  He kind of invokes a little nostalgia from my rock and roll days.  It’s like I can safely revisit my 20s without getting my heart shattered all over the place.  He just makes me remember the things that I loved about those days…the part where passion for what you’re doing IS everything.  He reminds me of how I got to where I am today.

So I booked my ticket to see him in The Toxic Avenger the musical…in Houston, Texas. 

I’ve been reading the reviews and articles for it ever since he started rehearsing.  The behind-the-scenes looks reminded me of how much fun I used to have when I was acting once upon a dream.

So I’m off to Houston next weekend to see Constantine in his latest musical.  BUT of more important news, I found out while I was in Ottawa that there will be a Jekyll & Hyde revival on Broadway.  That really made my doctor’s 12-18 month medical lockdown worth staying in the country for.  But alas, even better news…Constantine plays the lead in my all-time favorite musical.  And yes, I know every word to every song. 

I’m beginning to think that Constantine and I share the same soul or something…they say that in each new lifetime your soul splits…well, if you’ve had a few lifetimes, that’s a lot of splits.  Thus, another reason why I’m going down memory lane…not only was Jekyll & Hyde my favorite musical…it was also the music that was in my music binder at voice school.  In other words, those were the songs I rehearsed and sang in voice school…back in my 20s. 

In a way, I keep looking at Constantine as if he’s living that dream that I walked away from all those years ago when that rockstar broke my heart.  I walked away from the ‘expected to head to Broadway,’ the ‘rocker life’ and everything that went into being an actress/singer.  I walked away from it all.  It’s what happens when someone shatters your dream for you.  So in a way, I feel like I’m living vicariously through Constantine.  He’s living that life I had always dreamed of living. 

Why HIM and not anyone else? 

See him sometime.  It’s that passion he puts into it.  It’s a lot like the passion I have when I talk about living the dream.  It’s 100% genuine.

So with theatre tickets comes hotel reservations and plane tickets to Houston, Texas for the final weekend of The Toxic Avenger (next weekend).  I think I’ll be all over the country when Constantine takes the role of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, that is, before it hits Broadway.  The show will be on the road first.

If anything I’ve learned from recent Constantine events…book him when you know for a fact that he’s performing.  The whole Ghost thing…I was really upset he didn’t get the role, but eh…he got something way better…Jekyll & Hyde.  I’d take seeing that show every night of the week over Ghost. 

What makes J&H so special?  “This is The Moment” and “Someone Like You” defined me in my 20s.  I remember hearing my instructor tell me, “You sing that like a young Barbra Streisand.”  Those songs helped pit me at the top of the school.  Why?  Because the songs defined who I was and still am…someone looking to find their dreams.

So between booking a trip to Houston and shopping for a new rug…that’s it for shopping this week.  I am trying to decide on my next handbag.  Maybe I’ll purchase one in Houston, because I did not buy one in Ottawa (even though I’ve been scouring The Bay’s website looking for the bag I saw in their store). 

This weekend, I’m in Philadelphia (Jagr’s groin better be okay…just saying).  Thanks to all the Philly tweeps and media who keep emailing me and tweeting me about Jagr’s comings and goings…I find it funny that he is the only hockey player that fans/media constantly update me on.  I think Russ Cohen just finds the whole ‘synchronicity’ thing hilarious…and he covers the Flyers.

So for the next week and a half, I’ll be researching Houston to figure out what to do while I’m there.  I’m thinking ‘antiqueing’ will be on my main agenda when not at The Toxic Avenger. 

Oh, and since I’m on medical lockdown in this country for the next 12-18 months (doctor will not let me permanently leave the USA for Africa)…I’m coming up with my very own USA bucket list.  I’ll be posting it up soon…

For most hockey ladies, we are kind of in love with this show called “Supernatural.”  Sam and Dean…now add hottie for the last few seasons, Castiel (the fallen angel)…we are just eye candied up every winter.

I recently got my brother hooked on this show over the holidays.  While we were in Target, I saw that Season 6 had just come out on DVD.  I grabbed it, was looking at the back of the cover reading it when this Target employee walks by, stops, shrieks at the top of her lungs, “OH MY GAWD! IS THAT THE NEWEST DVD OF SUPERNATURAL?”  I replied, “Yes.”  She shrieked again, grabbed a copy and ran off with it.

My brother had no idea what this was about.  He just thought it was some chick flick.  Oh, little did he know this was the type of show that was right up our alley.  Hell, we talk about apocalypses and angels and demons all of the time.  Yeah, these are the private conversations that we have had our entire life that no one would understand but Sam and Dean themselves.

When we got to the final episode of Season Six, Castiel proclaimed himself GOD and demanded that Sam, Dean and Bobby bow before him or suffer the wrath of GOD.  And then it kind of ended.  My brother yelled, “WHAT?  This can’t be how it ends!” 

Yep…he’s a Supernatural freak now.

Well, I couldn’t wait until the next DVD, so I started watching the show online…only to find out that they killed off Castiel.  How the hell do they kill off Castiel?  I mean, HOW!?!?

So a little Googling just now and I found out Castiel is coming back!  He’ll be back in Episode 17.  Hallelujah!  Castiel LIVES! 

Because following @MishaCollins (the guy who plays Castiel) isn’t enough…I need to see him as eye candy on Supernatural…and that season when he was in 24…that was pleasant, too. 

I’m very happy to see him back on Supernatural.  I’m still laughing at that episode where the boys go into a different dimension and Sam and Dean are playing the actors that play them in the show.  They walk up to Misha Collins, thinking he’s Castiel, and start asking for help on how to get back to their dimension.  What was funny was that Misha exclaims he’s tweeting what happened!  Then he tweets it…he really tweeted it.  I started laughing hysterically, because I turned to my brother and said, “OMG!  He really did tweet that, because I remember him tweeting that months ago on Twitter!” 

Speaking of hockey and Misha…I wonder what this Boston native and former White House intern would have to say about Tim Thomas snubbing the Presidential Office today.  I don’t think his praise would be up there.

As the days pass into this new year of 2012, I’ve been making all of my plans (especially the financial ones) to make the big jump across the pond.  In a weird synchronistic movement of the universe around me, Jaromir Jagr says he wants to re-sign in Philly for next season.  Ok…word probably got to him that it’s not this year the Flyers win the Cup, it’s next year.

A few hours later, I’m sitting in my doctor’s office in the worst pain I’ve ever had in my life only to hear my doctor tell me that she doesn’t advise leaving for Africa just yet.  At the least, a year.  She tells me this to drive the point across about my health.  The test results are really that bad. 

$320 of ‘uninsurable costs’ later, I realize that the pain meds don’t work.  The pain keeps getting worse.  I’m sitting in my bed at 4AM begging the cat to remove herself from my lap because I’m in so much pain, I can’t move. 

After twenty minutes, I finally make my way to the bathroom for any kind of medicine that will relieve the pain so I can go back to sleep.  I find some Tylenol Precise and rub that over the inflamed area and then try to sleep on the couch.  It relieves most of the pain for the next 45 minutes before the pain returns again.

This has been my week.  It all started with doing something so intuitively stupid that it’s accumulated in some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime. 

Since my surgery back in 2008, I’ve regarded raw onions as a ‘death wish.’  I don’t know why I ever thought that, because I had eaten raw onions before the surgery and was just fine.  But after the surgery, I took one look at raw onions on my salad and thought…I would have to be insane to even attempt to eat a raw onion.

Ends up my intuition wasn’t joking about that raw onion.  I thought, since it’s been 3 years since the surgery, maybe I’ll be okay.  WRONG.  The second it hit my stomach, my stomach started reeling in pain shooting through my body like an electrical storm.  By that evening, the pain had centered right behind my stomach and into the back, along the spine.  Which ironically, is the exact spot on the opposite side of my back from where I had three tumors removed in 2005. 

I’ve always talked about test results coming back in either the yellow or red categories in the past.  This incident sent it barreling straight into the red abyss. 

Lesson learned…really listen to your intuition.

Granted, the situation has probably been around for some time and was just sent over the edge with this incident.  I don’t know, but after each test they administered yesterday, I was reeling in even more pain than I was before. 

When the doctor looked at the results, she relayed onto me how dangerous the situation really was…thus, the reason why she has put a medical stopper on me heading to Africa permanently.  She’s thinking this will go another 12-18 months. 

While we sat there discussing the issues, she was getting more and more pissed at me because she didn’t think I was reacting like the ‘oh my god, this is horrible, my life is over…’ kind of stance.  Instead, I just sat there taking in the normal blah, blah, blahs I’ve been hearing for the past three years…the ‘it’s nothing new’ kind of news.  I started talking about what I was going to do next in my adventure.

Life is always divided by those who take the negative and embrace it.  There are others who just look at the positives in life and move forward.  If you focus too much on dying, you’ll miss out on living.

How we perceive this lifetime also determines how we’ll live.  Sure, I could sit there and start crying because I’m in the red zone again.  I’ve sat there and cried in an examination room before.  Or, I could just say…whatever…there’s nothing new about this…just give me my prescription and I’ll go.

Imagine my surprise that no pain medication worked.  You know what did work?  Tai chi and meditation.  It worked so quickly…I began to wonder if all of the issues plaguing my body are actually a result of environmental stressors? 

I imagined that pain in my body to be a ball of pain, and I pushed that negative energy out of my body and into the universe as love.  I did this same movement three to four times and then centered again.  I opened my eyes and realized that 75% of the pain was gone.  What was left were just a few aches that could be cured with a small dose of ibuprofen. 

And here I was looking at this expensive ass bottle of medicine seeing that it could really damage my stomach, but if it would stop the pain, I’d take it….only to find out that for FREE, I could have just done some basic meditative tai chi and released that horrific pain from my body.

I guess there is truth to the saying that the best things in life are for free, while everything else, you have to pay for.

Believe it or not, I look at all of this as a lesson.  Here’s why…

Last week, I saw a package come in for my neighbor.  I thought I would be nice and take it up to him and leave it at his door.  I didn’t tell him that I did it.  I was just doing it out of kindness since he’s come over before to fix a lot of things in my apartment.

Last night, I came home and found a large, heavy box in front of my door.  It was the supplies I ordered for the photos.  In my condition, there was no way I could have brought that package upstairs on my own.  One of my neighbors had repaid that same kindness that I had bestowed to one of my neighbors.  All I had to do was just push the box into my apartment.

The lesson learned is that when you do an act of kindness, wanting nothing in return, you’ll find that kindness is returned when you need it the most. 

It also shows that remembering to remain positive, even when the dire of situations is placed before you can determine how you are living.  You can either live for death or live to live.  That’s why I travel all of the time.  There’s a lot of things I want to see and do before this body craps out on me.  I actually don’t tell my doctors that I’m traveling, because they would forbid me from doing so.  This last big trip through Europe and Africa…I was actually ill through most of it.  The worst days were in Paris and Zug.  I wasn’t able to get out and explore the area like I wanted to.  I ended up sick in bed the day I was supposed to visit the Eiffel Tower and L’Arche de Triomphe.  I headed to Zug the next day and just crashed in bed at the hotel the second I got there and only got up to go to the arena.  I spent one afternoon looking around, but that just ended up making things worse, so I headed back and slept it off.

In Morocco…I was sick, but acting like I wasn’t. 

There are good days and bad days.  When it’s bad, it’s bad.  Good days are the days I can get out of bed.  This week though, I took one look in the mirror and saw the color had left my face.  I was waking up in the middle of the night, sweating…and it’s the middle of winter.  Pain isn’t supposed to be like this.

I live like I don’t have a tomorrow.  I’ve had this drilled into my head for the last 7 years, since I was first diagnosed with cancer.  Then I was reminded again 3 years ago when I was told it returned and in a bad way.  Then I was reminded yesterday…you have to do what you’ve set out to do. 

Remaining positive, meditation, more yoga…those are my current prescriptions.  Doing acts of kindness towards others…that is also my main focus.  My horoscopes keep saying that I need to learn to start relying on other people right now, because I can’t do everything on my own anymore.

I thought about that this morning when it took me 20 minutes to get out of bed.  I kept thinking that I really needed a nurse or someone there to stand in front of me, push the cat off of me, and help me stand up.  I’ve known that this day was approaching.  I was warned about it happening after I had the first surgery.  You’re always preparing for that day, but when that day finally arrives, you can’t help but think how unprepared you are. 

I’ll need someone around for those bad days.  I kept thinking this morning…what I wouldn’t give to be laying out in the sand dunes right now, letting the Sahara ease my pain.  Hell, what I wouldn’t give to push someone out of bed and tell him to help me.  Instead, I was left in tears this morning, trying to convince the cat that she needed to remove herself from my lap because I couldn’t do it myself, feeling the pain sharpen and twist up and down my body, and trying not to scream because it hurt so bad.  It’s kind of sad that one of the reasons for wanting to get married is for these moments when I need to rely on someone else to help me.

Learning how defenseless you can be, you leave your pride at the door.  For someone who is so independent and strong, this time around I can’t do this on my own.  It’s different.  And one thing I’m learning is to ask for help when I need it…to do acts of kindness when I don’t need help…and maybe the universe will answer my prayers knowing when I really need help so I don’t have to ask for it.

On the train, I’ve had to tell people not to touch me because it’s like I can feel the weight of their body on me…and it’s too much for me to bear anymore.  I think that’s my life in a nutshell. 

I’ve spent these past few days trying to practice going back into past lifetimes to understand why the doctors can’t accurately diagnose what’s wrong with my body.  The things my past has shown me are all points where I’ve taken on endeavours to help those who can’t help themselves.  I’ve shouldered their weight…stood up to the injustices to protect the weak…and carried the world upon my shoulders.  Each doorway showed that characteristic in me…which is exactly who I am today.  I think this lifetime is the accumulation of all of those burdens that belong to others.  It’s proving  that I can’t carry anymore of the weight.  There is a tipping point where I’m about to crumble beneath its weight. 

This lifetime was meant to release it all and let people fight their own injustices.  To teach others to stand up when someone is about to be treated wrongly.

Back a few years ago, I stood up to a man that was getting ready to hit an 80 year old woman in a grocery store.  I was with my cop boyfriend at the time, waiting to checkout.  This guy, in his 30s or 40s, decided to cut in front of the woman and acted like he had a right to do it when she protested.

He turned around and made like he was getting ready to punch her.  I got in front of her, pushed her behind me and told him that if he was going to hit someone, he was going to have to hit me.  He told me to get out of the way.  I answered, “NO!” 

At this point, the entire busy checkout area had gone silent.  Even the cashiers had stopped ringing up any items.  You could hear someone calling for security.  Another person was on their phone calling the police.

The man told me to get out of the way again.  His beef was with the old lady.  I told him he was going to have to go through me if he wanted to get to her.  By then, several others had pushed the little old lady towards the back of the store. 

He started to stare me down like if I didn’t get out of his way, he would kill me.  I looked back at him even more forcefully and I said, “NO!” again.  He would have to go through me.  That’s when someone came up behind me and said, “And me.”  Another person said, “Me too.”  10-15 more people joined in.  The guy looked around noticing that he was outnumbered.

I told him to take his things and check out.  Get the hell out of the store.  He tried to stare me down again before I gave him that one look that has been known to put the fear of God into anyone’s heart.  He backed off immediately and started to quickly have the lady ring his items up.

He spent the next five minutes trying to plead his case to me like he was the victim here, not the little old lady.  I stood next to him and put the old lady’s stuff on the conveyor belt and told him to shut up. 

People kept looking at the two of us like, she is going to kill him if he doesn’t back off.  He kept whimpering like he was the victim there…not the bully anymore.

He finally walked out of the store, but I knew he’d be waiting for the little old lady, so we helped her get her things together, packed up her groceries, put it back in her cart for her, and then walked out with her. 

Like I knew he would…he was sitting there waiting for her.  By then, the guy noticed that my boyfriend was an off-duty cop (he had his jacket on over his uniform).  He went up to him and tried to plead his case that he was the innocent one, not the old lady.  I took one look at the guy like I was about to set him on fire with one look, and he exclaimed, “You’re crazy!”  He jumped on his bike and pedaled out of the lot like a bat out of hell. 

Two patrolmen pulled up a minute later, while we were trying to hail a cab for the old lady.  They saw my boyfriend and asked what had happened.  He relayed the story onto them, looked at me and then laughed.  He said, “One thing’s for sure, never piss this lady off.  She’ll put the fear of God into you.” 

The cops went in to do their routine investigation of the matter.  In the meantime, we had loaded the groceries into a cab for the lady, I even paid for her cab ride home.  We put her in the car and then headed to our car. 

As we were pulling out, one of the cops waved us down.  He came over to my window and said, “I have to shake your hand.  What you did in there…I wish there were more people like you out there.”  He told us that everyone that saw what happened told them that girl stood up to that guy and scared the hell out of him. 

Apparently, that’s just my character.  It’s what I do.  My boyfriend laughed as we drove off.  He said, “I am never going to piss you off again.  Whoo wee…did you scare the hell out of that guy!”‘

He then said he now understood what my brother was talking about…never piss his sister off because by some act of God, you or someone you know that is close to you will die.  That is…depending on the degree of how mad I am.  He said he thought my brother was joking about the ‘act of God.’  But until he saw the ‘putting the fear of God’ into another man just by looking at him…he said, he would never piss me off again.

In each lifetime, I have been this kind of person…always protecting the weak…shouldering the responsibility.  I think in this lifetime, the body has had enough.  So from here on out, I think it’s time I let the weight of the world fall off of me.  I think that’s why I want to sit in the Sahara so much right now…so I can just be free of the weight of the world I’ve been carrying.  I just want to be free and stand on my own again.  The only way I can do that is to stop shouldering all of the work on my own.  I need to finally learn to enlist help from here on out in all walks of life.  My body can’t take on anymore. 

That’s what the universe has been telling me…that it’s okay to take help from others, especially when you don’t ask for it. 

 

 

Reality finally settled in…or shall I say, the reality also known as DOUBT has settled in.  A few months ago, I knew it would happen.  It was inevitable. 

Being back in a first world country where people put too much emphasis on things that don’t really matter…this is the same world that is so lost, they don’t know how to live…I knew that it would finally envelop me.

I decided to do what I always do when I start to feel like maybe I’m not making the right decision…I decided to take a moment and listen to what the universe was telling me.  I looked for any sign that could possibly be thrown my way, only to remind myself that I should not block off my entire life to just one dream…I had to be open to possibilities…including the impossible being made possible.

That’s when I noticed a book in the bookstore last week: “Aleph” by Paulo Coelho.  I should have known that Paulo would tell me what I already knew…after all, re-reading “The Alchemist” reminded me that I had found my own adventure in life in Morocco.

There comes a time, even in the most spiritual beings on earth, that we can become lost.  We stop hearing God talking to us.  We can’t connect with God the way that we used to.  We have trouble staying focused on the things that matter…like remaining positive and doing all of those good karmic actions. 

In essence, we become human once again, disconnected from our Father…not knowing if we want to go back to him.

We start to make the wrong decisions.  We distance ourselves from the good things in life and start focusing on the drama of the world.  We let bad stuff get to us and bother us.  We judge others.  We become a part of this dying world…not knowing if we want to be saved from the whirlpool that is spiraling us out of control and dragging us down to the bottom of the ocean.  We don’t know if we want to be saved or helped out of the water and into calmer seas. 

Yep…even the best of us who are so connected with God feels this way sometimes.  Surprise, surprise…what I’m feeling now, that is Coelho’s latest book.  It’s about being stuck in that moment of routines and disconnectedness from God.  It’s about feeling like you don’t have the answers…or maybe everything you believe to be true is all a piece of crap. 

Maybe it was all just a momentary happiness…a moment where we dipped into the pool of magic and made the impossible a reality.  What if it doesn’t last? 

What if I’m making a mistake changing my life?  This is where fear settles in.

You start to think of the dreams you had all throughout your life, trying to find some meaning in it all.  There are those strong predictions that happened…and you’re left thinking…’what does it all mean?’ 

You see that one dream is unfolding, while another is also unfolding…and the two are very different from each other.  It’s as if I’m stuck at a crossroads trying to decide which path would be the best path for me.  This is where I kick myself for keeping my options open in life.

Then there’s the Aleph.  Have you ever met someone in this lifetime that you remember from previous lifetimes?  I have.

I think we both sensed it the first time we saw each other.  It was as if a magnet was pulling us to each other, but we had to keep backing away from it.  People around us always sensed the pull.  They saw it.  It was too powerful to say it didn’t exist.

You start to think ‘why?’  Why show that person now?  It wasn’t meant to be in this lifetime.  Why show that person now? 

Remembering the laughter from lifetimes ago, being able to still taste the first kiss, to remembering moments from a long time ago…worlds away from you both now…you both start to realize how you were both in love before this lifetime.  The souls remember.  They don’t forget.  It’s because the souls remember, it creates conflict in the present.

Yet, it is in this lifetime that you remember…that amazing love was not meant to be in this lifetime…but you do remember how powerful it once was.

Going down one road, you see the dreams you made into reality.  You see the world you’ve been dreaming about for years.  It’s like you can put your hand through that veil separating reality from dreams and push it to the side to make it real. 

It’s setting foot on the city’s cobblestones and feeling like you are home once again, in a land you’ve never been to before.  It’s falling in love with the city, the people and the country that you feel that you are destined to live there and be happy for the rest of your life.  It’s as if you are living in that dream, preparing for that day that this really will be your home.

It’s no coincidence you felt that there…or even the fact you wound up visiting the place not just once, but three times.  That is the reality of that dream.

Did your soul dance with his?  Yes, it did.  And then you let him go…  Yet, he eventually came back.

 Then you remember the dreams of living in a riad in Morocco, watching the sun setting over the mountains while you sat on the rooftop of your home, enjoying dinner with your family.  It was pure happiness.

Then there’s that life that you live in New York City as a hockey writer.  You enjoy that world of arts, literature, and fashion.  You actually really enjoy that life New York City has offered to you.  Why give up a life that you love?

Which adventure do you choose?

You listen to your heart.

Today, the adventure has already begun.  It’s not towards love or romance.  My journey is taking me towards the passions of life…as in the things in life that I am passionate about.

At the same time, I have to remind myself not to lose sense of myself.  I don’t have to lose everything to become someone new.  I just have to take with me the things that have defined me since 2007.  I planted the seed and buried the roots deep so that when I finally emerged from the soil, I could branch out in every which direction I could.  Before I could do that, I had to build a solid foundation deep within myself.

Miracles do not happen overnight…neither do dreams.  Dreams change.  One minute you could be an astronaut.  The next day you could be President of the United States.  The next day, you could be a famous writer.  Life is meant to make every dream you can dream come true.

Over this three-day weekend, I had a lot of time to think about the crossroads and the journeys ahead.  One road leads to Africa.  The other road leads to Europe.  Then there’s always the option of staying right where I am.

For once, I didn’t think about those roads.  I just thought about what I wanted in this very moment.  I chose happiness.

I saw my office coming into being.  What I once thought was a doomed project from the get go all of a sudden became a realistic idea taking shape before my very eyes.  The big pile of crap all of a sudden became a small pile that is easily conquerable.

I realized that even in moments when we try to refill our karmic baskets, we start off small so that we do not become overwhelmed, only to find that later when the bigger karmic actions appear, we will have no fear and aim to tackle that action one small deed at a time.

I started to notice that the things I did over the weekend while I was listening to the universe all ended up showing me that I am making a dream into a reality…and they didn’t involve love, marriage, family or children.

It involved the gifts God had given to me. I spent a lot of time organizing my new dream from its new headquarters.  I spent hours on the computer uploading photos and preparing them for delivery for each project.  I created gifts and really started to imagine making a lot of new projects into a reality…and then I pressed CHECKOUT.

Someday projects became NOW projects. 

Someday I’ll try and go vegan…became countless hours in the kitchen trying out all new vegetarian recipes. 

While I was in the Library, I decided to check out a vegetarian cookbook and a bunch of Martha Stewart Living and Better Homes & Gardens magazines.  The librarian took one look at a potpie on the cover of Martha Stewart Living and said, “You must be a really good cook.”  I smiled and said, “I like a challenge.” 

You’ll be amazed at all of the different meals I constructed for the first time.  A homemade vegetarian tortilla soup is now at the top of my favorite winter soups…and I’d never made that before.  Pickled eggs?  Never tried it before…took one bite and it was heavenly!  Kale salad?  Never knew you could eat kale raw.  Not only did I try that, but I made my own salad dressing for the first time…and that salad became a WOW factor.  Most importantly, it will help boost my immune system during the cold/flu season.

In other words, cooking, re-decorating, working on the photos, reading, writing, etc. these are the things that make me happy.  They are the things that complete my NOW.  It’s putting the present into action for the future.  It’s building the foundation you need for whatever is coming in the future.

This blog changed because I wanted it to become a lifestyle blog that talks about everything that I’m learning, loving and experiencing.  It’s about sharing that world of happiness with others.

I didn’t spend this weekend thinking about whether I would head to Morocco or head to Europe.  I thought about what I wanted to do now that would bring me happiness.  The only thing I wanted to do was to put the new dream into play…but at the same time, I had to remind myself, don’t lose what you love already.  That means, I’m going to continue to write.

Last month, the universe started veering me in a new direction in writing.  That’s why the blog changed.  I started to meet people in the fashion industry.  I started to notice that talking about celebrities (non-hockey players) and photographing them, netted more interest on this site than hockey. 

The universe was showing me all along what the new path was…I just had to embrace it a little more.

I was telling someone recently that I wasn’t looking for love when I went to Morocco.  All I knew was that God wanted to show me something in Morocco and that’s why I went.  I know what I found there…an ending to my book (and ironically, the next story I’m writing).  God showed me a lot of things all throughout the country. 

But right when you have no idea what it was you were looking for, that’s when it hits.  Love will strike when you least expect it.  In “Aleph,” Coelho talks about how sometimes when you are searching for someone, you don’t realize that they’ve been searching for you, too.  Rumi once said that ever since he heard his first love story, he went searching for his love, only to realize how silly that was.  Lovers are in each other always. 

It’s like when you find the person you are meant to love, it seems so silly that you were looking for the other person, because you were in each other all along.  Your love was never lost or found.  They were always there inside of you.

Today, I’ve spent many moments in my mind, sitting at the top of a sand dune, watching the stars above me, telling Hamid, “Did you know that when you wish on a falling star, your wish is supposed to come true?”  To which he responds, “Really?” 

He then started to look frantically all over the sky for a shooting star, wanting to make a wish from his heart…not realizing he didn’t have to make that wish because it already came true.  But while his head was turned the other way, I saw a star shoot across the sky.  I exclaimed, “Oh!  I just saw one!”  He turned in the direction I was pointing only to be disappointed he didn’t get to see it, too. 

I realized that God did that for a reason.  The shooting star was a sign to me that a dream had come true.  I didn’t have to make anymore wishes.

Now, I sit here and think…was that just a dream?

If it was, it would make one hell of a story.

But the truth is, it is my story…and it’s been one hell of an amazing ride. 

So why do I doubt?  Why am I scared that I am changing everything I know for a world that is completely different than my own?  What if I was never supposed to leave NYC? 

What if…How am I…What am I…doesn’t matter anymore.

What matters is that I am focused on right now and all the days I have to live before the future arrives.  There are certain actions I have to put in place today, not tomorrow, in order to plant the seeds and build a strong foundation so that I can shoot up from the ground and branch out in every which direction.  That is the tree of life.  You can plant your roots deeply so that nothing can blow you over. 

If one branch falls, you still have many more that survive.  Even when a storm barrels through, if you are strong deep down to the core, no amount of bad weather can take you down. 

When the seasons change, you change as well.  Life is all about the changing of the seasons and how you can shed one life for a new one just by shedding your leaves in the winter, and budding new leaves in the spring.  It’s about living through the changes life has to offer and embracing it.

You always want to share the beauty of growth in life by making yourself beautiful through to your very core, because no one likes to bask in the beauty of a diseased and dying tree, that is rotted through to the core.  People enjoy the beauty of seeing a healthy tree thriving in the garden of life.

As you see the world change, you, too, must change as well.  A tree evolves when the world evolves.  Just as it changes according to the seasons, so too must your dreams.  For me, that means in business…when you see that one branch is falling, you must focus on the other branches of your life, because once that branch has fallen, it means nothing to the tree anymore.  What matters is what is left.

What’s left after doubt?  The now.  Doubt is about the future.  Right now, the heart and soul are in agreement…what I am doing right now is right for me.  My focus has to be on my happiness and the changes that must happen in order to bring enlightenment to the world.  Like bringing schools to children in Morocco…forcing bans on things that harm the world (like plastic bags that don’t break down and avoidable waste).

Each change begins here.  It begins in every single one of us.  When you start doing random acts of kindness, it is like doing a little bit here and there every single day…it starts to build where you do more and more as you see progress…and then you start to work on bigger projects, knowing how to tackle each action one little act at a time (because you know that everything takes time, it doesn’t always have to happen right now, it takes effort in the right direction to make a dream a reality). 

That goes for all walks of life, including diet and exercise.  Just committing to doing the act a little at a time works its way into something called PROGRESS.  After all, we all know, you can’t lose 100 pounds in 24 hours.  It takes one small step in the right direction.  You keep doing a little bit here and there until it starts to become a bigger bit here and there…and then one day you’ll see yourself taking shape.

So whatever the focus is…it should always be about the now and taking that right step in the right direction.  I’ll worry about what road that is later on…maybe I’ll just follow my own road and if one of the other two roads ends up veering into mine along the way and it becomes one big interstate, then we have a winner!  Until then, I’m just going to focus on the new road being paved ahead just for me.

Lesson #1 in 2012…never fall into routine. 

Lesson #2 in 2012…you don’t have to do a huge task all at once.  Just do a little at a time each and every day.

Lesson #3 in 2012…what are you doing now?  What is happening NOW is more important than what’s happening tomorrow.  Tomorrow is a dream not yet realized.  Right now, that is the moment you are living.  How do you choose to live it?  Do you choose to live dreaming about a different life?  Or do you choose to live the life you know you were meant to live.  Live in that dream NOW.

Re: Lesson #1 … Life can start to get really boring when you fall into a routine.  You start to lose a sense of yourself when you fall into routine.  You start to really get bored with life doing the same exact thing day in and day out.  You start to really hate your life when it becomes routine.

So shake things up a little bit. 

* Instead of reaching for the same exact items at the grocery store, pick up something exotic and different.  Try a kale salad instead of a romaine salad.  Try the olives from the olive bar, instead of buying them from a jar. 

* Take a different route to work.  Explore places you never knew were there before.  Who knows?  You might find a cute little bakery or coffee shop you never knew was there.

* Take a class.  Join a reading group.  Do something extraordinary with other people.  Learn something new and something different.

Re: Lesson #2 … Just because that huge pile isn’t getting any smaller, it doesn’t mean you should feel defeated before you even start.  The first obstacle is always getting started.

Instead of sighing and giving up before you even start, tackle the first mountain by saying to yourself that all you need to do is a little for now.  Just do a little here and there.  Keep reminding yourself that you’re going to do a little bit here and there each and every single day.

Soon, you’ll find that you are starting to accomplish something one day at a time, knowing that it doesn’t have to all be done at this very second.  You know that in time, it will be done.  You’ll find that as time goes along, you’ll devote more time and more energy to the project…when it starts to not look so overwhelming anymore.

As things come together, you’ll start to smile a little more, because you realize that you put a lot of work into it, and you didn’t let it overwhelm you.  You appreciate what you’ve done even more when you don’t start the project with negative feelings. 

By keeping your focus positive all throughout the task, you’ll find that all of that positive energy you put into it…makes you feel more wonderful about it when the project is completed.

Re: Lesson #3 … There are many people that don’t realize that life is going on RIGHT NOW, not tomorrow.  People get excited about things that will happen in the future, but forget that they could get excited about what’s happening right now. 

You can make plans for the future, but you should never forget that the most important time is now.  We live in this time, not in tomorrow’s time.  Eventually tomorrow becomes now.  But between now and then, there are plenty of days to live before then.

Mankind’s biggest mistake in life…is not living in this very moment.  Don’t let your life pass you by dreaming about a different life.  You could live that life now if you took the steps to make those dreams come true.

For those who know me…they know that I love Bauble Bar.  Thanks to their Buried Bauble Fridays, I’ve been able to amass a pretty large collection of baubles from my favorite jeweler.  Each Friday, somewhere on their site, they have a bauble for just $10. 

But if you want to get in on the Buried Bauble action from here on out…you need a clue!  Well, the only way you can get that clue now is if you’re on the Buried Bauble email list.  Only those on the email list are allowed to buy the Buried Bauble.  So if you’re not on it…you’re missing out on some great jewelry for a great price. 

How do you get on the email list?  CLICK HERE!

After you sign up, they’ll send you a referral code to send to all of your girlfriends so that they can get in on the Buried Bauble action. 

[Picture from BaubleBar.com, showcasing the Versaille Dye Glam Necklace from the Erickson Beamon + Bauble Bar collection.]

You’ll be amazed at how I’ve been spending my non-hockey time lately. This year, because it’s time to launch the other hobby of mine, I’ve been doing a lot of research into how to market my product in new ways. I’ve been taking cues from sites like ZeroPassiveIncome.com to get a better idea on how I’m going to not only make a little extra money this year, but also to have some money trickling in as I live in a new country.

In other words, I’ve been setting up my new business. 

Since I have thousands of photos in the wings ready to be turned into buyable pieces of artwork for the home, it means finding the right photo printing companies, researching DIY tricks of the trade in creating canvas art, and finding companies that will supply the frames and all the mod podge that I need.

So what suppliers have I found to create this piece into a canvas for little money?

For the 16×20 print of the photo above, I went to Snapfish. Why? Because they’ve sent superior products to me, capturing the essence exactly how I saw it…and in some cases…exactly how I created it.  It’s cheaper for me to go with a place like Snapfish to mass produce my photos, because there are times I’ll get the photo for a penny a piece.  That’s cheaper than printing the photo at home.

Shopping around for canvases, School Specialty has offered some great prices on pre-stretched canvases.

For the Mod Podge…people complain it’s so expensive!  Well, Ben Franklin.com offered me the lowest prices around.  I remember the store from when I was a kid, so it’s nice to see that they’re still around kicking in the digital age. 

As for the decorative paper (i.e. the surprise of the canvas), I decided to go with Paper Source.  They offered some of the most colorful and the most beautiful pieces around.  This is actually the splurge to upscale the canvas.  The paper is so delicate, it actually will add to the element of the canvas.

When I finish up the new office, you’ll get a sneak peek at some of the work that will be available for purchase.  This is just one arm of the business.  There are more arms…but for now…there’s a canvas in the works.

I saw this up on Pinterest and then thought…what a cool concept.

This concept was developed by the author Ann Voskamp, who wrote the book, “One Thousand Gifts.”  This project is taken from her website: A Holy Experience.

Whether you record this down in a journal or go on a photo frenzy…do something that will bring you joy this year and maybe at the end of the year you will find 1000 things that brought you joy in 2012.

1. ZeroPassiveIncome.com.  Want to know how someone in debt could all of a sudden turn their financial situation around in ways that you can’t even imagine?  I’m talking about a 12 month financial project to right your wrongs…and they’re doing this at the age of 25?  One of the Zero Passive Income Twitter accounts just started following me.  I took a look around at the owner’s website and I couldn’t believe what they had done to turn a deficit into a winning year.  It took them 12 months to do over the course of their financial journey.  They paid off school loans, car loans, etc. all in 12 months or less.  They were even able to raise their net worth from a deficit to a very positive plus that most 20 somethings do not have. 

The site itself is just an inspirational, kick in the butt, journey that one young couple undertook to turn around their financial lives and make a profit from it.  Their Alexa ratings for their site are in the six figures!  I don’t frequent too many sites with only six figures, so that should tell you something about their content.

I will say that one of their most recent articles from Christmas had me in tears.  As a Christmas present to his wife, they decided to go to Kmart and he had his wife pick one person that had a layaway balance that needed to be paid off.  Just two days before Christmas they paid the entire balance except for one little penny.  You want to talk about giving the best gift ever?  That’s a way to give someone a great Christmas…by giving to a complete stranger.

I highly recommend this blog. 

2.  Yummy Mummy.  With every New Year comes resolutions.  One of the greatest blogs out there right now on eating healthy and how to live a healthier life (including tips and recipes) is Yummy Mummy Kitchen. 

Not only is the author of the blog a Mommy…but she’s also a photographer, so you’ll find a lot of fresh and beautiful photos.  She’s 90% vegetarian…a concept I like.  I may adopt the 80% vegetarian mantra…meaning…I’ll be vegetarian 80% of the time.  The other 20% I reserve for chicken and fish.  😉

Check out her site, you’ll find a lot of amazing food recipes on there that are very vegan/vegetarian friendly.  It all looks good!  Mmmm.

3. Whole Living.  I found this site randomly while looking on Martha Stewart.com for recipes.  What I loved about it…I learned a few things about reducing food waste. 

Now, I waste food all of the time.  I hate that I do, but there are just some things I can’t eat.  I can eat a hot dog, but not the bun.  If I try something and my body doesn’t like it…it’s not like I can pass it off to some homeless guy, so the unwanted food goes in the trash. 

If it doesn’t go home in a take home bag…then it goes in the trash…especially when it’s Americanized portions. 

Well, just because my stomach is refusing the food, it doesn’t mean that I’m being eco-friendly.  In fact, wasting food ends up turning into methane gas as it rots in landfills.  That alone is one of the main concerns for vegans and vegetarians on why they are against the raising of cattle for food purposes. 

You can say that the one article changed my way of eating.  I just won’t ‘try’ things anymore.  I’ll also be splitting more of my meals with friends or giving my take home container to a homeless person.  Or better yet…order the side items, not the entree. 

Check out the site.  There’s a lot of interesting information on how to be a better eco-friendly consumer, as well as healthy recipes and fitness tips. 

Arm your new year’s resolutions with knowledge so that you can stay in the game!

I’m always looking out for artists and artwork…or even color schemes that I love and am thinking about incorporating into my home.  Would you believe that I found a Van Gogh reprint with drastically varying prices? 

I almost bought this reprint painted on canvas yesterday.  Funny how it’s up on Joss & Main today with a drastic discount attached.

The artwork in question is “Branches of An Almond Tree in Blossom” by Vincent Van Gogh:

Joss & Main has the $1,032.00 piece marked down to $270.95 for the next 3 days.

OR

You can buy it from Light In The Box for $69.99.

So this whole minimalist thing is hard to do…really it is…so I’ll have to find another way to reduce, reuse and recycle. 

In the meantime, let me flood your senses with some discoveries on my what’s next to buy list…

FOUND: Zara Dress for $49.99.

Zara is having their end of the season sale.  These prices are so good…even the fashionistos (the guys) will be shopping the Zara sale.  It’s a really good sale!

FOUND: Eiffel Tower Wall Stickers for $29.99.

This is the most amazing inexpensive makeover piece I’ve found.  It comes in a variety of colors, variety of patterns, and it’s easy to put up and remove.  You don’t even have to put it up on your wall…you can just put it up on canvas and hang like artwork.  I loved this idea and design so much, I ended up finding a little something for every single room.  It’s a new way to give your room more character.

FOUND: Piazza Sempione Cocoon Coat at Saks for $619.99.

Want to know a good way to help you figure out what coat to buy when you can’t decide?  Pin it on Pinterest.  You can tell by the number of repins and likes which one is the coat that everybody likes the most.  This one was the favorite.  Although, I’m more partial to the Armani…but I’m still shopping around.

 

FOUND: Bliss Sofa ($1199.00), Bliss Chair ($699.00) and Pillows ($59.00) from West Elm.

West Elm is so dangerous.  Went there to look at a few pillows, ended up finding new furniture to lust after.  And here I was getting ready to order this from Urban Outfitters for $699.

FOUND: A new discount invite only sale site just for the HOME!

Joss & Main is my new favorite discount invite only sale site.  I really love this place.  It has so much of what I’m looking for at prices that have me going…’are you serious?’  (because I know the retail and sale prices, these prices have those other retailers beat).  They definitely come in handy for those of us that are redecorating, remodeling or moving.  One of the sofas featured today is $649…and is very similar to one of the sofas I was considering from Urban Outfitters.  They had UO’s already urban chic prices beat.

FOUND: Gold Glitter Ballet Flats from Zara $29.99.

Oh, how could I leave out gold glitter ballet flats?  Always on my lust list…these are on sale at Zara.  Can’t wait to put them on my feet!

FOUND: Marc Jacobs Tote at Bloomingdales $112.80

I have a little obsession with the Marc Jacobs Tote.  I already have one.  This one I want.  I also had another tote sent to me from Saks for $40.  I just love the style and design.  You won’t believe how much stuff I can carry in one of these.  Retail is $188.  If you can land one for around $130 or less…you’ve landed a deal.  It’s the latest IT BAG in NYC.  I’ve seen several women carrying this bag around in various colors and patterns.

FOUND: Kate Spade Sparkler Missy $93.

There’s just something about gold and glitter and sparkly stuff.  $93 for a sparkling Kate Spade bag, why yes, please!  Ring me up!

FOUND: Kate Spade Baubles $64.

I really love this cuff.  It’s gold.  It’s sparkly and will match the flats and the purse.  So cute.  Also love the bow!

*******

So as you can see…there’s so much eye candy that I can’t decide what to get next.  Knowing me, I’ll just horde them all now…find a place for it all later…